Friday, August 20, 2010

How to deal with an ex/friend?

I am about a month and a half into my new relationship and there is an issue. My ex-fiancee is one of my friends and my gf doesn't like me keeping her around. She had given me an ultimatum to scale the ex back/end it with the ex or find a new gf. I took the option to not talk to her as much. After my ex cried to me on the phone I have been about a week into this. Now I am seeing how unhealthy it is to communicate with her and debating not communicating with her at all. Any input on what to say or just not to text? Any opinions?How to deal with an ex/friend?
Keep her without knowing to your girl friend but give more importance to your girl friend.Ex might be acting to get your money so bewareHow to deal with an ex/friend?
Don't.

How to deal with ex-boyfriend changing after break-up?

Ex-boyfriend and I were together for several years. After a hideous breakup, moving on and getting married to other people, we decided to become friends a couple years later.





Can you explain: why is it that all the things I wanted him to change (smoking, drinking habits, getting a better job, going on more vacations instead of working so much) - he did AFTER he met his new wife?





I am happily married, and have no wish to go back to that - so it isn't a ';I want him back'; scenario. Just some insight as to why...





I am not asking for personal criticisms - but why is it that sometimes you try to wish change upon a person, to make him a healthier, happier person - so that when you finally give up - they change for the better, when they are no longer with you??





Some insights?How to deal with ex-boyfriend changing after break-up?
Maybe he did these things after you broke up cos he probably realised what you were saying was true.





At least u didn't have to put up with him when he was changing that could have been bad 4 u! Glad ur happy now!

How to deal with ex boyfriend dating another girl..?

My ex and I were dating off and on for over 3 years. About 2 years ago I had cheated on him, but he forgave me. I was a bit of a liar and I hurt him emotionally. For the past few months I've been trying to show him that I have changed and want to give him more respect, but it hasn't work very well.. or at least to the extent that I thought it would. He told me the other day that he wanted to date someone else to see how I would react and whatnot. I think that is really messed up and I don't really understand why a guy would even do such a thing. He also said that he wanted to give me another chance, just not right now. He told me that he would miss me and would most likely want me back. Well as of today, he is dating another girl and it's killing me. He came to my house today to pick up his stuff. We talked about things and he was like ';just move on... if we are meant to be, then we will be together again.'; he also was like ';i can't be with you right now. you can wait/ show me that you are a better person, but that's up to you.'; I don't want to move on and I feel like I'm the right person for him. How do you get a man to feel the same way about you? I am trying to live my life and be happy, but I also feel like it would be right if he was there by my side. I really need some honest advice about this. It is hurting me more than anything else has ever hurt me before. I want to show him that I have changed and that I can be a great person, but I'm definitely not trying to be the girl on the side. I want him back, so can someone please help me out.. even just a little?





Thanks so much. I'd really appreciate your advice. How to deal with ex boyfriend dating another girl..?
it definitely sucks because I just went through the exact same thing, except the girl he's dating was my friend and teammate... obviously no longer, but its tough i know. you just have to completely cut yourself off from him and start over. it'll get easier and there will be times when you break down and think that you want him back, but in time you'll see that you don't really want him and that you are truly better off without him. I think the one thing that really helped me most was surrounding myself with friends and talking about it until you get tired of hearing about it. Also, try and picture your life without him, how it will pan out. I know it sucks but he's not going to magically change him mind, unfortunately, but also fortunately because you'll be a stronger person and have better relationships because of it.How to deal with ex boyfriend dating another girl..?
your gonna have to forget about him. waiting for him will only show him that he has a hold on you. nows your chance to start fresh %26amp; everything you feel you did wrong in that relationshipp..you can fix in a new one.
off and on for 3 years i think that it's a little late to change and it worked what he did.. now that you know you cant ';have'; him you really want him more

How to deal with ex's new baby - teens please, your advice welcomed?

Well, to cut a long story short, while we were temporarily living in another country my husband left me for a local woman half my age. I returned to our home country with our two sons - my husband had given me full custody. Since then he and his new partner have had a baby girl.This is especially hard for me since our first child was also a girl but died three weeks after birth. The seflish and hurt part of me wants my sons to reject their father, but the sensible mom part of me wants them to have a good relationship with him and ultimately to accept and even have a relationship with their sister. The mother of the new baby is a gold-digger who is with my husband for his money; the baby is her meal ticket, but that's not the baby's fault. How do I deal with this to heal my own hurt and at the same time recognise this other woman's baby as in some way a member of my family? I wd especially like to see advice from young people who have been through something similar with their parents.How to deal with ex's new baby - teens please, your advice welcomed?
Instead of dwelling on the bad you see in it dwell on the good that came out of it.





This new child is not a member of your family dear. She is a member of their family and a step-sister to your son's since their father helped birth her. No relation to you whatsoever.





You opinion of this woman even if she was no all you say she is would be tarnished just because your husband left you for her. Right?





Instead of making justification of your feelings move on with your life and make the best of it for you and the two boys you have custody of. They are innocent in all the drama and do not deserve to be influenced by your views on it.





You have been asking about this in different ways on here for some time now. It is time for you to move on and reflect on you and live your life for you and the children, not on all the bad of the past. Nothing will change that.





You can however change the future.





Additional Comment:





Forgive and forget.





To ';forgive and forget'; is one of those cliches that people say so often without really thinking about the depth of the words. Forgiving is an action that pertains to something that has been done against you in the past, while forgetting is an action that you must choose to do in the future. To ';forgive and forget'; is no easy thing. To truly ';forgive';, we must see ourselves as less important than the person who has wronged us. We must be able to say that we do not expect judgment against, or payment for the wrong. In all honesty, I do not think we are ever able to ';forget'; a harmful thing that has been done to hurt us. What some of us are able to achieve, though, is a decision to remember without the agony of bitter, hurtful feelings. Thus, to ';forgive and forget'; is controlled solely by our own desire to let go of things in the past, and to walk into our future unencumbered by the burden of others' actions.





In all honesty, no matter how hard we try, we will never forget. And maybe it's a good thing that we don't.








Forgiving is allowing another person to be human for faults, mistakes, or misdeeds. Forgetting is putting these behind you; they are no longer brought up and no longer remain a barrier to your relationship.





Forgiving is letting another know that there is no grudge, hard feelings, or animosity for any wrongdoing. Forgetting is the lack of further discussion, with no ongoing negative references to the event.





Forgiving is letting the other person know that you accept as genuine the remorse and sorrow for actions or words that hurt or disappointed you. Forgetting is promising that this deed, whether of omission or commission, will not be brought up again.





He does not have to be the one to know you forgive. God needs to know and then God will hold everything bad you are carrying around making your life miserable because you won't let it go.





It is the past and you need to let the past go and live for the future.





Your choice here. Just do it!





You are doing more harm than good by letting your feelings filter down to the children. It is not fair to them. They are innocent in all the drama. They did not ask for it. They deserve better.





Think about it.





Additional Comment #2:





Your third comment on here put it all in a nutshell. Everything you feel about yourself is keeping you from being the person you should be. You have beat yourself up to a point of ';no return';, in your view. How you feel about yourself reflects how you choose to live your life.





Try these ten helpful steps to finding the love within you for you and begin to feel better about you. Then you see dear, others will as well.





Try them! They really work.








1. Stop all criticism: Criticism never changes a thing. Refuse to criticize yourself. Accept yourself exactly as you are. Everybody changes. When you criticize yourself, your changes are negative. When you approve of yourself, your changes are positive.





2. Don't scare yourself: Stop terrorizing yourself with your thoughts. It's a dreadful way to live. Find a mental image that gives you pleasure (mine is yellow roses), and immediately switch your scary thought to a pleasure thought.





3. Be gentle and kind and patient: Be gentle with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Be patient


with yourself as you learn the new ways of thinking. Treat yourself as you would someone you


really loved.





4. Be kind to your mind: Self-hatred is only hating your own thoughts. Don't hate yourself for having the thoughts. Gently change the thoughts.





5. Praise yourself: Criticism breaks the inner spirit. Praise builds it up. Praise yourself as much as you can. Tell yourself how well you are doing with every little thing.





6. Support yourself: Find ways to support yourself. Reach out to friends, and allow them to help you. It is being strong to ask for help when you need it.





7. Be loving to your negatives: Acknowledge that you created them to fulfill a need. Now you are finding new, positive ways to fulfill those needs. So. lovingly release the old negative patterns.





8. Take care of your body: Learn about nutrition. What kind of fuel does your body need to have optimum energy and vitality? Learn about exercise. What kind of exercise can you enjoy? Cherish and revere the temple you live in.





9. Mirror work: Look into your own eyes often. Express this growing sense of love you have for yourself. Forgive yourself looking into the mirror. Talk to your parents looking into the mirror. Forgive them, too. At least once a day, say: ';I love you, I really love you!';





10. LOVE YOURSELF - DO IT NOW! Don't wait until you get well or lose the weight, or get the new job, or find the new relationship. Begin NOW - do the best you can.





We can only do so much from this end. The rest is up to you.How to deal with ex's new baby - teens please, your advice welcomed?
I am twenty and yes I can say parents can influence there kids. Sometimes they dont even notice it. A snide comment here and there from your mom and soon you think your father are all those things your mom said.





What I think all you can really do, is continue to be there mom. I wished my mother would have talked a lot more about what she was going through to me so I could see and feel what she was thinking instead of wondering.


Yet, with my father he was honest and up front making sure it was not us he left but my mother. I for a long time thought him weak and fickle minded for his explanation. My relationship with him suffered because I listened to my mother when she was talking with her friends or to herself. How much she hated my father. she never said these things out right to me, but she did not censor herself around her friends and family. so I heard I took it in and I applied all of it to my father so I relationship almost died.


My advice if I had any to you, is be careful what you say to anyone your kids might be listening yet be honest with them. Explain (depending on there age) what you feel (without bashing there father or his new wife) And continue to live there life. You can not force a huge big family. It will happen if its is meant to.

How to deal with ex-boyfriend now, he cheated on me and he calls me like nothing happened?

My ex and I dated for 1 1/2 year. We were living togther and when I had proof that he was cheating I moved out not letting him know that I knew he was cheating. A week later, I saw with with his ';girlfriend';. He never saw me I left the as soon as I could. He is 39 and cheated with a girl that is 20. They are together. He calls me every now and then with silly excuses. I seen him but we never talk about ';us';. It has been 7 months and I find my self to be recentful and grumpy everytime he calls. I don't want to show my emotions to him so I act like nothing happened, like we're friends and we both moved on. That is not the truth. I think about him very often; eventhough I'm seeing other people, I haven't let go. What should I do, I don't want to show him the pain I have. We had many close friends in common which makes things more difficult. I don't want to give up my friend but is hurts me when I know things about him? Should I stop talking to him and all of our friends in common?How to deal with ex-boyfriend now, he cheated on me and he calls me like nothing happened?
u should really talk things out with him. u know things that he's done behind your back and u'll always feel sad inside since u've never just let it out! if things aren't finished between the two of u, meet him in person and lay out all the things that u KNEW he was doing. u can't live like this. if u just tell him, ur not only being honest to him, but to yourself as well. ur right though. u can't truly let go until u face the problem, acknowledge it, and talk things over.





don't try to simply avoid contact with him. he may have cheated on u (that was not fair to u), but treat him in a civil manner. this is not an opportunity for you to yell at him or vent any anger. speak to him calmly and be rational. once u get this off your chest, it will soon be lifted from your heart and your mind as well. only then can u truly move on. (sorry for sounding so formal)





~good luck to u! and remember it's never too late, don't live life with regrets! ;)How to deal with ex-boyfriend now, he cheated on me and he calls me like nothing happened?
maybe if you show him how sad you are and turn on the water works and tell him u trusted him and crap then he'll know that what he did was wrong and get back with ya
this is a hard situation .. i understand you not wanting to show him your feelings .. he doesn't deserve to know them.





i don't think you have to stop talking to your friends that you have in common because at a time like this, you need good friends to help support you. this is probably too much, but if you have enough trust in your friends, maybe you could ask them not to mention him. i'm sure they'll understand and it's only temporary until you get over him.





now on the other hand, i believe you should stop talking to him. i think that he's being a jerk by trying to make excuses and he's probably ready to cheat on his current girlfriend, if he hasn't already, so he's weighing out all his options. he has no respect.





now in the long run, if he still wanted to be friends .. would you really want to be friends with someone who hurts people in the way he hurt you and who isn't even man enough to own up to it? i think he's extremely selfish and childish; a bad combination for a boyfriend or a friend.

How to deal with ex wife?

can some one help me the ex wife from my fiance is mad she and my fiance have been devorced since 10 years i am with my fiance sinc 1 year and she is jelous and tries to make arguments with us.





she is also married again and we are trying to keep a good contact with her because of the children.





last week the daughter had a car crash and was in intensive care me and my fiance went over to the daughters place to take the dog out and feed it then the x came in and started to say funny comments i ignore it mostly because i have nothing to do with the problems that they have with each other.can some one suggest a way out for us allHow to deal with ex wife?
His exwife seems so immature and jealous. Ignore her when you have to. If she does something that cannot be ignored, tell your fiance to deal with her. If that doesnt work, confront her but do not make a scene. Try to remain the one with class. Hope all goes well.How to deal with ex wife?
Is there someone who could mediate a conference with you, your fiance' his ex, and her husband? One very important ';rule'; in divorce, is don't put the kids in the middle. She could still have bad feelings towards your man, bitterness. Jealous-is not a good thing either. Her husband is her man now, and she needs to ';get over it';. It's been 10 yrs.! I wish you the best. Take care.
just go and smash her face and it red


and then ask her the reason for that as she is not your fiance


or the other way is that just have a friendly conference with them


and come to an appropriate conclusion
everytime she says something ignore her and pretend that she is not even there . she sounds like a child . did you meet your fiance while he was still married to her ? if you did then she might be seeing you as a home wrecker you know it is possible that she considers you the reason for the divorce . but in any case just ignore her and pretend she is not there . good luck .
They say that the flame of the the first love doesn't go out. Stands to reason doesn't it? They have shared their bodies, minds, hearts in total intimacy. Can that be forgotten?


The things that lead down to a breakdown of a marriage....can they ever cool memories of the first flame? To a man, the married intimacy is to know someone is on his side, to a woman it is to align herself to his side. So man and woman come together, or so I think.





Carnal lust is a fact of life. Can one forget it?


Intimacy and cuddling is so lovely. Can one forget it?


The first child....Who can forget him/her?





Doesn't it stand to reason she still feels connected and perhaps let down too in some way?





Dont feel bad about this. Be compassionate and understanding without taking sides. If you love the guy so much and so much and so much, the muck in your face will turn to flowers becoz your goodness will stand it. And you owe that to yourself.





Does that make sense?





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You are taking best step by ignoring her comments but unfortunately you cannot avoid this lady because of the kids whom she visits. If you are getting married to this man do it now the go ahead then as a wife you get all rights to keep this ex wife keep her mouth shut. I don鈥檛 find any other way out till the daughter of your fianc茅 get married then will stop his ex wife visit from your home. Till then keep your mouth shut %26amp; avoid her as much as you can, because such jealous ladies can not be mended by other way.
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  • How to deal with ex's current insane GF?

    This woman is a wing nut! She sends over 40 text messages a day, multitudious emails a day. calls my cell....and I've never even met her! She's convinced that he and I are sleeping together. It's been since December since I've even had anything to do with the ex BF! Can I get a restraining order? How do I get rid of her? Her emails and texts are threatening in nature. I've saved them all.How to deal with ex's current insane GF?
    you can get an order of protection easily. the judge will order her to stay a certain distance away from you and also not be able to call/text/email you and if she violates the order she goes to jail no questions asked.


    but I'd just catch her alone and kick the **** out of her. but that's just me :)How to deal with ex's current insane GF?
    I have the same problem with my X GF's current relations and friends. Phone call's emails, letters, they have showed up here at my house.......


    JEALOUSY... Change your number and don't answer the calls or other ways of contact.
    Have no contact at all with him. But I'm assuming you already knew that. Heck yeah I would get a restraining order!
    what i think u should do is put that ***** to her place!! if she is accusing u of sleeping with her man... then give her something to accuse u for... well i never been in such a situation.. but what u can do is just change your email and phone #...that way she wont be able to contact u and then she will simply realize that life is not a garden... and then she will stop being a Hoe
    Nah.. she's her own worst enemy. Just ignore her.
    Wow, I'd look for a restraining order, she sounds nutty. You should also tell him, so he can talk to her.
    just ignored her and change your number quick
    Tell her that if she doesn't leave you alone you will go to the police. If she doesn't stop then yeah, get a restraining order.
    I agree with the top poster, why does she have your number? Make a harrassment report and if it goes further get a restraining order. Also, Im sure you can make her pay for the txts she keeps sending you..thats ridiculous, im sorry.
    If they are truly threatening - call the police and show them to them.





    Block her e-mail address. See if you can block her phone number.





    If you continue ignoring her - and the ex - she will probably just go away. Don't talk to him about it - or her - that will just set her off.





    If she's crazy - she won't listen to reason.
    Call your cell company and see if you can block her number, if you cant then change your number. Also block her email address from your account. Theres things you can do to stop that.
    how does she even have your contact info in the first place? report her to your local police for harassment.
    You talk to your ex about her, if you're still talking to him.


    If not, yes, getting a restraining order or going to the authorities would be a good idea.


    Still, I'd talk to your ex, whether you're talking to him or not. If you are, then you should have no problem letting him know. If you're not, call him anyway and tell him to reassure his gf that you're not sleeping together because she's crazy.
    thats nuts! you could get a restraining order against her if its really necessary and she's really bothering you...try changing your number or blocking her from emailing or calling you if you can
    ok 1. report her to the cops 2. block her number