Friday, August 20, 2010

How to deal with an ex/friend?

I am about a month and a half into my new relationship and there is an issue. My ex-fiancee is one of my friends and my gf doesn't like me keeping her around. She had given me an ultimatum to scale the ex back/end it with the ex or find a new gf. I took the option to not talk to her as much. After my ex cried to me on the phone I have been about a week into this. Now I am seeing how unhealthy it is to communicate with her and debating not communicating with her at all. Any input on what to say or just not to text? Any opinions?How to deal with an ex/friend?
Keep her without knowing to your girl friend but give more importance to your girl friend.Ex might be acting to get your money so bewareHow to deal with an ex/friend?
Don't.

How to deal with ex-boyfriend changing after break-up?

Ex-boyfriend and I were together for several years. After a hideous breakup, moving on and getting married to other people, we decided to become friends a couple years later.





Can you explain: why is it that all the things I wanted him to change (smoking, drinking habits, getting a better job, going on more vacations instead of working so much) - he did AFTER he met his new wife?





I am happily married, and have no wish to go back to that - so it isn't a ';I want him back'; scenario. Just some insight as to why...





I am not asking for personal criticisms - but why is it that sometimes you try to wish change upon a person, to make him a healthier, happier person - so that when you finally give up - they change for the better, when they are no longer with you??





Some insights?How to deal with ex-boyfriend changing after break-up?
Maybe he did these things after you broke up cos he probably realised what you were saying was true.





At least u didn't have to put up with him when he was changing that could have been bad 4 u! Glad ur happy now!

How to deal with ex boyfriend dating another girl..?

My ex and I were dating off and on for over 3 years. About 2 years ago I had cheated on him, but he forgave me. I was a bit of a liar and I hurt him emotionally. For the past few months I've been trying to show him that I have changed and want to give him more respect, but it hasn't work very well.. or at least to the extent that I thought it would. He told me the other day that he wanted to date someone else to see how I would react and whatnot. I think that is really messed up and I don't really understand why a guy would even do such a thing. He also said that he wanted to give me another chance, just not right now. He told me that he would miss me and would most likely want me back. Well as of today, he is dating another girl and it's killing me. He came to my house today to pick up his stuff. We talked about things and he was like ';just move on... if we are meant to be, then we will be together again.'; he also was like ';i can't be with you right now. you can wait/ show me that you are a better person, but that's up to you.'; I don't want to move on and I feel like I'm the right person for him. How do you get a man to feel the same way about you? I am trying to live my life and be happy, but I also feel like it would be right if he was there by my side. I really need some honest advice about this. It is hurting me more than anything else has ever hurt me before. I want to show him that I have changed and that I can be a great person, but I'm definitely not trying to be the girl on the side. I want him back, so can someone please help me out.. even just a little?





Thanks so much. I'd really appreciate your advice. How to deal with ex boyfriend dating another girl..?
it definitely sucks because I just went through the exact same thing, except the girl he's dating was my friend and teammate... obviously no longer, but its tough i know. you just have to completely cut yourself off from him and start over. it'll get easier and there will be times when you break down and think that you want him back, but in time you'll see that you don't really want him and that you are truly better off without him. I think the one thing that really helped me most was surrounding myself with friends and talking about it until you get tired of hearing about it. Also, try and picture your life without him, how it will pan out. I know it sucks but he's not going to magically change him mind, unfortunately, but also fortunately because you'll be a stronger person and have better relationships because of it.How to deal with ex boyfriend dating another girl..?
your gonna have to forget about him. waiting for him will only show him that he has a hold on you. nows your chance to start fresh %26amp; everything you feel you did wrong in that relationshipp..you can fix in a new one.
off and on for 3 years i think that it's a little late to change and it worked what he did.. now that you know you cant ';have'; him you really want him more

How to deal with ex's new baby - teens please, your advice welcomed?

Well, to cut a long story short, while we were temporarily living in another country my husband left me for a local woman half my age. I returned to our home country with our two sons - my husband had given me full custody. Since then he and his new partner have had a baby girl.This is especially hard for me since our first child was also a girl but died three weeks after birth. The seflish and hurt part of me wants my sons to reject their father, but the sensible mom part of me wants them to have a good relationship with him and ultimately to accept and even have a relationship with their sister. The mother of the new baby is a gold-digger who is with my husband for his money; the baby is her meal ticket, but that's not the baby's fault. How do I deal with this to heal my own hurt and at the same time recognise this other woman's baby as in some way a member of my family? I wd especially like to see advice from young people who have been through something similar with their parents.How to deal with ex's new baby - teens please, your advice welcomed?
Instead of dwelling on the bad you see in it dwell on the good that came out of it.





This new child is not a member of your family dear. She is a member of their family and a step-sister to your son's since their father helped birth her. No relation to you whatsoever.





You opinion of this woman even if she was no all you say she is would be tarnished just because your husband left you for her. Right?





Instead of making justification of your feelings move on with your life and make the best of it for you and the two boys you have custody of. They are innocent in all the drama and do not deserve to be influenced by your views on it.





You have been asking about this in different ways on here for some time now. It is time for you to move on and reflect on you and live your life for you and the children, not on all the bad of the past. Nothing will change that.





You can however change the future.





Additional Comment:





Forgive and forget.





To ';forgive and forget'; is one of those cliches that people say so often without really thinking about the depth of the words. Forgiving is an action that pertains to something that has been done against you in the past, while forgetting is an action that you must choose to do in the future. To ';forgive and forget'; is no easy thing. To truly ';forgive';, we must see ourselves as less important than the person who has wronged us. We must be able to say that we do not expect judgment against, or payment for the wrong. In all honesty, I do not think we are ever able to ';forget'; a harmful thing that has been done to hurt us. What some of us are able to achieve, though, is a decision to remember without the agony of bitter, hurtful feelings. Thus, to ';forgive and forget'; is controlled solely by our own desire to let go of things in the past, and to walk into our future unencumbered by the burden of others' actions.





In all honesty, no matter how hard we try, we will never forget. And maybe it's a good thing that we don't.








Forgiving is allowing another person to be human for faults, mistakes, or misdeeds. Forgetting is putting these behind you; they are no longer brought up and no longer remain a barrier to your relationship.





Forgiving is letting another know that there is no grudge, hard feelings, or animosity for any wrongdoing. Forgetting is the lack of further discussion, with no ongoing negative references to the event.





Forgiving is letting the other person know that you accept as genuine the remorse and sorrow for actions or words that hurt or disappointed you. Forgetting is promising that this deed, whether of omission or commission, will not be brought up again.





He does not have to be the one to know you forgive. God needs to know and then God will hold everything bad you are carrying around making your life miserable because you won't let it go.





It is the past and you need to let the past go and live for the future.





Your choice here. Just do it!





You are doing more harm than good by letting your feelings filter down to the children. It is not fair to them. They are innocent in all the drama. They did not ask for it. They deserve better.





Think about it.





Additional Comment #2:





Your third comment on here put it all in a nutshell. Everything you feel about yourself is keeping you from being the person you should be. You have beat yourself up to a point of ';no return';, in your view. How you feel about yourself reflects how you choose to live your life.





Try these ten helpful steps to finding the love within you for you and begin to feel better about you. Then you see dear, others will as well.





Try them! They really work.








1. Stop all criticism: Criticism never changes a thing. Refuse to criticize yourself. Accept yourself exactly as you are. Everybody changes. When you criticize yourself, your changes are negative. When you approve of yourself, your changes are positive.





2. Don't scare yourself: Stop terrorizing yourself with your thoughts. It's a dreadful way to live. Find a mental image that gives you pleasure (mine is yellow roses), and immediately switch your scary thought to a pleasure thought.





3. Be gentle and kind and patient: Be gentle with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Be patient


with yourself as you learn the new ways of thinking. Treat yourself as you would someone you


really loved.





4. Be kind to your mind: Self-hatred is only hating your own thoughts. Don't hate yourself for having the thoughts. Gently change the thoughts.





5. Praise yourself: Criticism breaks the inner spirit. Praise builds it up. Praise yourself as much as you can. Tell yourself how well you are doing with every little thing.





6. Support yourself: Find ways to support yourself. Reach out to friends, and allow them to help you. It is being strong to ask for help when you need it.





7. Be loving to your negatives: Acknowledge that you created them to fulfill a need. Now you are finding new, positive ways to fulfill those needs. So. lovingly release the old negative patterns.





8. Take care of your body: Learn about nutrition. What kind of fuel does your body need to have optimum energy and vitality? Learn about exercise. What kind of exercise can you enjoy? Cherish and revere the temple you live in.





9. Mirror work: Look into your own eyes often. Express this growing sense of love you have for yourself. Forgive yourself looking into the mirror. Talk to your parents looking into the mirror. Forgive them, too. At least once a day, say: ';I love you, I really love you!';





10. LOVE YOURSELF - DO IT NOW! Don't wait until you get well or lose the weight, or get the new job, or find the new relationship. Begin NOW - do the best you can.





We can only do so much from this end. The rest is up to you.How to deal with ex's new baby - teens please, your advice welcomed?
I am twenty and yes I can say parents can influence there kids. Sometimes they dont even notice it. A snide comment here and there from your mom and soon you think your father are all those things your mom said.





What I think all you can really do, is continue to be there mom. I wished my mother would have talked a lot more about what she was going through to me so I could see and feel what she was thinking instead of wondering.


Yet, with my father he was honest and up front making sure it was not us he left but my mother. I for a long time thought him weak and fickle minded for his explanation. My relationship with him suffered because I listened to my mother when she was talking with her friends or to herself. How much she hated my father. she never said these things out right to me, but she did not censor herself around her friends and family. so I heard I took it in and I applied all of it to my father so I relationship almost died.


My advice if I had any to you, is be careful what you say to anyone your kids might be listening yet be honest with them. Explain (depending on there age) what you feel (without bashing there father or his new wife) And continue to live there life. You can not force a huge big family. It will happen if its is meant to.

How to deal with ex-boyfriend now, he cheated on me and he calls me like nothing happened?

My ex and I dated for 1 1/2 year. We were living togther and when I had proof that he was cheating I moved out not letting him know that I knew he was cheating. A week later, I saw with with his ';girlfriend';. He never saw me I left the as soon as I could. He is 39 and cheated with a girl that is 20. They are together. He calls me every now and then with silly excuses. I seen him but we never talk about ';us';. It has been 7 months and I find my self to be recentful and grumpy everytime he calls. I don't want to show my emotions to him so I act like nothing happened, like we're friends and we both moved on. That is not the truth. I think about him very often; eventhough I'm seeing other people, I haven't let go. What should I do, I don't want to show him the pain I have. We had many close friends in common which makes things more difficult. I don't want to give up my friend but is hurts me when I know things about him? Should I stop talking to him and all of our friends in common?How to deal with ex-boyfriend now, he cheated on me and he calls me like nothing happened?
u should really talk things out with him. u know things that he's done behind your back and u'll always feel sad inside since u've never just let it out! if things aren't finished between the two of u, meet him in person and lay out all the things that u KNEW he was doing. u can't live like this. if u just tell him, ur not only being honest to him, but to yourself as well. ur right though. u can't truly let go until u face the problem, acknowledge it, and talk things over.





don't try to simply avoid contact with him. he may have cheated on u (that was not fair to u), but treat him in a civil manner. this is not an opportunity for you to yell at him or vent any anger. speak to him calmly and be rational. once u get this off your chest, it will soon be lifted from your heart and your mind as well. only then can u truly move on. (sorry for sounding so formal)





~good luck to u! and remember it's never too late, don't live life with regrets! ;)How to deal with ex-boyfriend now, he cheated on me and he calls me like nothing happened?
maybe if you show him how sad you are and turn on the water works and tell him u trusted him and crap then he'll know that what he did was wrong and get back with ya
this is a hard situation .. i understand you not wanting to show him your feelings .. he doesn't deserve to know them.





i don't think you have to stop talking to your friends that you have in common because at a time like this, you need good friends to help support you. this is probably too much, but if you have enough trust in your friends, maybe you could ask them not to mention him. i'm sure they'll understand and it's only temporary until you get over him.





now on the other hand, i believe you should stop talking to him. i think that he's being a jerk by trying to make excuses and he's probably ready to cheat on his current girlfriend, if he hasn't already, so he's weighing out all his options. he has no respect.





now in the long run, if he still wanted to be friends .. would you really want to be friends with someone who hurts people in the way he hurt you and who isn't even man enough to own up to it? i think he's extremely selfish and childish; a bad combination for a boyfriend or a friend.

How to deal with ex wife?

can some one help me the ex wife from my fiance is mad she and my fiance have been devorced since 10 years i am with my fiance sinc 1 year and she is jelous and tries to make arguments with us.





she is also married again and we are trying to keep a good contact with her because of the children.





last week the daughter had a car crash and was in intensive care me and my fiance went over to the daughters place to take the dog out and feed it then the x came in and started to say funny comments i ignore it mostly because i have nothing to do with the problems that they have with each other.can some one suggest a way out for us allHow to deal with ex wife?
His exwife seems so immature and jealous. Ignore her when you have to. If she does something that cannot be ignored, tell your fiance to deal with her. If that doesnt work, confront her but do not make a scene. Try to remain the one with class. Hope all goes well.How to deal with ex wife?
Is there someone who could mediate a conference with you, your fiance' his ex, and her husband? One very important ';rule'; in divorce, is don't put the kids in the middle. She could still have bad feelings towards your man, bitterness. Jealous-is not a good thing either. Her husband is her man now, and she needs to ';get over it';. It's been 10 yrs.! I wish you the best. Take care.
just go and smash her face and it red


and then ask her the reason for that as she is not your fiance


or the other way is that just have a friendly conference with them


and come to an appropriate conclusion
everytime she says something ignore her and pretend that she is not even there . she sounds like a child . did you meet your fiance while he was still married to her ? if you did then she might be seeing you as a home wrecker you know it is possible that she considers you the reason for the divorce . but in any case just ignore her and pretend she is not there . good luck .
They say that the flame of the the first love doesn't go out. Stands to reason doesn't it? They have shared their bodies, minds, hearts in total intimacy. Can that be forgotten?


The things that lead down to a breakdown of a marriage....can they ever cool memories of the first flame? To a man, the married intimacy is to know someone is on his side, to a woman it is to align herself to his side. So man and woman come together, or so I think.





Carnal lust is a fact of life. Can one forget it?


Intimacy and cuddling is so lovely. Can one forget it?


The first child....Who can forget him/her?





Doesn't it stand to reason she still feels connected and perhaps let down too in some way?





Dont feel bad about this. Be compassionate and understanding without taking sides. If you love the guy so much and so much and so much, the muck in your face will turn to flowers becoz your goodness will stand it. And you owe that to yourself.





Does that make sense?





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You are taking best step by ignoring her comments but unfortunately you cannot avoid this lady because of the kids whom she visits. If you are getting married to this man do it now the go ahead then as a wife you get all rights to keep this ex wife keep her mouth shut. I don鈥檛 find any other way out till the daughter of your fianc茅 get married then will stop his ex wife visit from your home. Till then keep your mouth shut %26amp; avoid her as much as you can, because such jealous ladies can not be mended by other way.
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  • How to deal with ex's current insane GF?

    This woman is a wing nut! She sends over 40 text messages a day, multitudious emails a day. calls my cell....and I've never even met her! She's convinced that he and I are sleeping together. It's been since December since I've even had anything to do with the ex BF! Can I get a restraining order? How do I get rid of her? Her emails and texts are threatening in nature. I've saved them all.How to deal with ex's current insane GF?
    you can get an order of protection easily. the judge will order her to stay a certain distance away from you and also not be able to call/text/email you and if she violates the order she goes to jail no questions asked.


    but I'd just catch her alone and kick the **** out of her. but that's just me :)How to deal with ex's current insane GF?
    I have the same problem with my X GF's current relations and friends. Phone call's emails, letters, they have showed up here at my house.......


    JEALOUSY... Change your number and don't answer the calls or other ways of contact.
    Have no contact at all with him. But I'm assuming you already knew that. Heck yeah I would get a restraining order!
    what i think u should do is put that ***** to her place!! if she is accusing u of sleeping with her man... then give her something to accuse u for... well i never been in such a situation.. but what u can do is just change your email and phone #...that way she wont be able to contact u and then she will simply realize that life is not a garden... and then she will stop being a Hoe
    Nah.. she's her own worst enemy. Just ignore her.
    Wow, I'd look for a restraining order, she sounds nutty. You should also tell him, so he can talk to her.
    just ignored her and change your number quick
    Tell her that if she doesn't leave you alone you will go to the police. If she doesn't stop then yeah, get a restraining order.
    I agree with the top poster, why does she have your number? Make a harrassment report and if it goes further get a restraining order. Also, Im sure you can make her pay for the txts she keeps sending you..thats ridiculous, im sorry.
    If they are truly threatening - call the police and show them to them.





    Block her e-mail address. See if you can block her phone number.





    If you continue ignoring her - and the ex - she will probably just go away. Don't talk to him about it - or her - that will just set her off.





    If she's crazy - she won't listen to reason.
    Call your cell company and see if you can block her number, if you cant then change your number. Also block her email address from your account. Theres things you can do to stop that.
    how does she even have your contact info in the first place? report her to your local police for harassment.
    You talk to your ex about her, if you're still talking to him.


    If not, yes, getting a restraining order or going to the authorities would be a good idea.


    Still, I'd talk to your ex, whether you're talking to him or not. If you are, then you should have no problem letting him know. If you're not, call him anyway and tell him to reassure his gf that you're not sleeping together because she's crazy.
    thats nuts! you could get a restraining order against her if its really necessary and she's really bothering you...try changing your number or blocking her from emailing or calling you if you can
    ok 1. report her to the cops 2. block her number

    How to deal with ex in the same workplace?

    Basically we are friends, or I thought we were.... either she was playing hard to get with me, regardless, she insulted me/took jabs at my integrity. So I want to know, how can I deal with her?





    I told her I would always be a friend to her, and she said she'd would like to call me to talk about it, and I said through texting, when?





    She said tomorrow, and obviously with 2 weeks passing. How do I approach her? Should I ignore, just be nice, or don't even pay that much attention to her?How to deal with ex in the same workplace?
    ignore her.


    let her approach you if she wants to be friends.


    other than that, put your past behind you, and make your money.How to deal with ex in the same workplace?
    They say never date someone that you have to work with for a reason. If you ignore her, she will probably become angry. Just be nice to her.
    Call her...definitely talk to her, stay calm though...remember if you have a huge fight on the phone its going to be AWKWARD at work. And don't go out of your way to flirt or be nice to her at work..just see how she acts first..then act accordingly.
    The only way your going to get it properly sorted out is if you talk her face to face.


    I know its scary, but its the only way to get everything truly off your chest. If your texting its not really the same and your not getting to say everything because you might change your mind.


    Meet at a cafe and talk it over like adults, its the best and mature way.


    If she's upsetting you, don't give in. There's no reason to sink down to her level.


    It's better to be logical, right?


    Good luck :)


    xxxxxxx
    The ball is in her court just don't say anything. Unless you need to for work. Keep it professional! Don't date people at work!
    Be polite and civil, say hi when you meet at work, but make sure you don't get caught up in any what went wrong or who did what discussions in works time. Keep conversations neutral and freindly but keep private things private. Also resist sniping at her if you tend to do that and avoid jokes only the pair of you understand.
    well if she's just being a jerk about it and all just ignore her. I can't stand people like that
    ignore unless u want to seem like u are after her again thats what she wants you just do ur thing let it go.
    just ignore the *****

    What boundaries do you have with partner when dealing with ex-spouses?

    How do you deal with a partner who has an ex-spouse and child together?





    What kind of boundaries did you set? Such as, do you mind if they talk everyday, take care of their animals when on vacation, mow the yard, etc? Do you allow them to talk on the phone without your presence? Do you trust them?What boundaries do you have with partner when dealing with ex-spouses?
    If you choose a partner with baggage, you'd better be in for a bumpy ride. It's not your right to set boundaries. If you don't trust them you shouldn't be with them. A child is a special bond two people share. And you will never be able to limit or separate that bond.What boundaries do you have with partner when dealing with ex-spouses?
    Good luck. Love is a tricky thing!!!!

    Report Abuse



    I guess some people don't know how to let go! When ex's continue to stay connected this way they make it difficult for other people to have a decent relationship with them. It makes you wonder why they even got divorced. The only thing that should matter is that they get along for the child ....not caring for each other's animals doing one another's yard work. I would think that any phone conversations should be about the child and be left at that. It's called moving on in your life when you involve another person and taking that person's feelings into account and putting the past in the past. They share a sexual history together and that by nature in itself can make another woman in the picture feel very uncomfortable. It's one thing for a divorced couple to get along for their child and that is great but not when it includes evrything else!! I am not sharing my turkey dinner with her or watching them both exchange christmas gifts with each other. I am sorry but there would have to be a limit on my give and take here. If I am going to be a part of this mans life now he would have to allow for some changes here. His focus would have to be on the two of us and his ex would have to hire herself a new lawn boy!! Just as he would have to hire one for himself if the yard could not wait untill we arrived back from vacation!! I would not appreciate that much interaction between them being involved in this mans life. Besides it just is not being respectfull if he cares and loves me now if what I feel about the way he does things matters to me. If I were to become his new future wife someday this would have to stop because it would be the right thing to do! You have no reason to become her best friend or feel any obligation to allow you significant other to attend to her responsibilities to care for herself! As far as trusting them in this situation I would only trust myself.....If I feel this is to much then it is and if he wants me in his life now he needs to put things in the right order. I would share the best of myself with his child in making her feel loved and wanted....but those feelings are not going to extend to the mother on any level. The child could have a special birthday party with me and the father and his immediate family invited and mom does her child in her own home with her family.The child can be told that she is special on her big day because she gets two birthday parties! This also extends to all special and major holidays! I would need to do theses things to allow myself to bond with his child in our own way and for the two of us along with dad have our own separate connection as our own family. When this man incuded you in his life your feelings and needs about things should be be considered in how things are to be in your invironment. I am sorry but this is my opinion but the only thing that needs to be shared here are only the concerns of the child......anything else is not acceptable for me to feel that I was now that special person in his life.
    When it comes to the children only then should they be speaking. NOT everyday,, and mowing the grass? why doesn't she mow it? I don't need anyone mowing my grass and i have kids and a man i just like to do it myself. I have found that alot of women who are divorced and the ex gets another relationship going, they somehow come up with excuses to see the ex, i guess it is wanting something that they can't have. But they had them before and treated them like s***.
    read the questions here tonight mate and i reckon i wouldnt let them within coee of each other
    I set my own rules which consists of: Don't do anything stupid and don't try to f--k. me over or I will f--k you over and blindside you.
    Oh yes you do set boundaries. You have to, you are the new love of his/her life, not the ex and not the child. I do sound harsh, but I am in one of those situations. Its not easy! But no child or an ex will tell you how to live your life. You should ask him/her how visitation with the child works and then you plan YOUR life around that. Any other contact with the ex is not part of the deal. You can keep it civil for all, but remeber its your life and you are the adult. Dont let it run your life for you.
    I trust my husband very much. I have told him that our present life is none of her business, she doesn't need to know anything. They have kids, talk about the kids, nothing personal. No he doesn't do anything for her, as she has more than one boyfriend who is quite capable of looking after her. I prefer that he only talk to her with anyone present so that words dont get twisted and he wont end up back in court, That has nothing to do with trust that is covering your own a$$.
    I think there have to be some boundaries.....this is a very hard question.....My boyfriend of over 5 years used to go to his ex-wife and kids house for ALL holidays....leave me at home with my children and go there and spend the entire holiday with them they live out of state so he would be gone for days.....and stay at their house....well I had to put a stop to that when we got serious....Now his daughter still wants him there for everything.....the ex is crazy I mean really crazy so its not like we can all go and have a good time.....she would with out a doubt beat me up...so that's out of the question....I asked him to explain in like this to his daughter.....I love you more than life itself and you are still 100% apart in my life, but my life is here with kandi now, so you can come here to visit any time you want to.....I think that is fair to all of us........but I guess I'm the only one that thinks so because his daughter is still asking him to go there. Its tough, have a great day!!
    I would have to agree totally with answerer #1, except that I would have to ad a little to it. If your spouse is indeed totally in love with you, then they themselves have already set boundaries for themselves. However, I personally would think that mowing lawns and animal sitting is carrying it a bit far. Just my opinion.
    Isn't better this way than have them fighting and cussing and thrown a fit? They will be connected for the next 18+ years. It is nice that they can help each other with stuff when they are out of town. You say partner so I guess you are not married you can't have a say in anything that they do. Have they given you reason for mistrust, it not then don't worry.

    How do you deal with ex and your children with them?

    I have a seven year old son from a previous relationship and am now married. My ex is constantly starting problems. He is engaged ( he's 28, has a 1 year old child with a 19 year old girl he is engaged to, been dating her since she was 15 or 16) My husband has bascially been raising my son in his place since day one. He provieds his insurance, pays for sports, school, clothes.. you name it.we pay for everything with no complaint. My ex doesnt pay support either. But spends all his time and money on the girlfriend and other child and hardly comes around. He and his teenage girlfriend have been causing us problems again. If the courts catch him not paying supprt again he goes to jail. He made the comment he might as well just sign his rights to my husband ( to get out of support, great guy huh). So now Im considering it. I was just curious what other people do with ex's who pull stuff like this b/c Im really bothered and trying to find a way to keep things civil but these people are so childish.How do you deal with ex and your children with them?
    I'd say you basically answered your own question. If he's not there, and not help supporting him, then why let him have any rights? Especially if he's more than willing to do so. Do whats best for your son. If he already looks up to your now husband, as daddy, might as well make it complete. That's what I would do. Good luck.How do you deal with ex and your children with them?
    Have you considered the idea of your husband adopting your son? Your ex would then have very few rights and would hopefully stop causing the problems. The decision must to adopt must be discussed with your son as well though. Does he see much of his Father, and are they close?

    How to deal with ex who is being unreasonable?

    okay, i went out with a guy for a little over 2 years





    HE broke up with me the week before senior prom





    so naturally when a guy asked me out to prom i said yes





    my ex gets all butt hurt over this





    and launches into a full scale get me back attempt





    i let him know it is not going to work this time





    and I go on a second date with the guy who took me to prom





    i'm still single





    but my ex got into a relationship with a well known hussy





    and now wont let me get my stuff back





    he also yells profane things at me in the halls at school





    also all his friends are spreading rumors and saying stupid crap about me





    so the question is how do i get him to stop??





    is there a way that will work if i confront him??





    or should i just go to school administrators??How to deal with ex who is being unreasonable?
    Ignore him, it's the best way to get back at him. Just completely ignore him. He wants to get under your skin and wants attention. If you don't give it to him, you win and he loses and feels hurt.How to deal with ex who is being unreasonable?
    you went to the senior prom... so your high school life has only 2-3 weeks remaining. just wait it out. if you really need your stuff, just wait until he's not at his house and go talk to his parents. explain the situation and see if they will give you your stuff back. if that won't work, you can be conniving and goto his house and tell him you want to ';talk about us'; then when he's not looking, grab your stuff and bolt.
    you should talk to him face to face and tell him to grow the **** up


    and if he don't listen to you just ignore it if you do that they will get bored of it and leave you alone !!!
    He definitely wants you back and regrets leaving you in the first place.
    Exs are such for a reason. If he's gonna be profane and so on, it shows how little class he has.
    go to the school administrators!
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  • How to deal with ex boyfriend being problematic?

    He dumped me august last year. I've moved on got a new boyfriend whom i live with and love completely. On friday i found some things that belonged to my ex, a shirt socks and other little things, so texted him and asked what he wanted done with them, he never took his stuff from my place so i keep finding things. he said he wanted them back, so i said he could collect it when my boyfriend and i were home. He said he didn't want my other half here when he comes, because he thinks my other half does like him, i said that can't be done and that it doesn't matter if my partner does or doesn't''t like him because he isn't a friend of either of us. When i my partner and i got together my ex sent abusive messages calling me nasty things and told me how much he hates me and comparing me to his new girlfriend.


    Now he said he doesn't want the things left at my place. He wants a necklace he gave me, because i apparently don't deserve it.





    I was only trying to be civil and return the things to him. Now he is carrying on like this and i don't know why.How to deal with ex boyfriend being problematic?
    wahahaha.. you should have burned his stuff rather than talking to him..


    tell his candy @ss that you are throwing all his garbage in trash and if he wants it..


    go to the dump to find them.. as for the necklace.. tell its also in the dump.


    dont actually throw it if u dont want to =P.. but the rest of his sutff.. like socks n shirt.. dump it..


    after you send him that txt.. either you can wait for his reply or just block his number...


    so he cant txt u back =).. that should resolve the issue..

    How to deal with ex for your child?

    Ok so it sounds like a stupid question but would just like some advice.





    Me and the father of my child have split after 7 years, its been seven years of pain, lies, his cheating, even having a child elsewhere with another woman and Im emotionally a mess, i am about to start my life again really, have to build up my self esteem etc. I know il be ok one day but how for now do I deal with him, he has just sent me a text apologising for the way he spoke to me the last time (it was disgusting) we spoke and that he would like to see his son soon and ive been ok the last couple of days but when i read the text the tears started again...





    if anyones been in a similar situation or has any advice would much appreciated it, i want to be strong for my son and deal with this the right way.... i luv my son more than anything in this world and i do not want my pain and feelings towards his dad to affect him....








    thanx in advance for any answers xxHow to deal with ex for your child?
    First of all you need to take charge of the situation and be strong in doing it. Set guidelines with him and enforce them. You need to let him know that it is over, and the apologizing and trying to make you feel bad needs to stop. Tell him that you will not argue with him about anything, and that the only communication you need with each other should be strictly about your son and your son ONLY! I have been through this, and the best way I found of dealing with all of the pain and anger was to limit my communication with him. If we tried to discuss anything else, it was always an argument and him trying to make me feel bad for all of the things he did to me. He doesn't need to know anything about you unless it concerns his son. The sooner you start this process, the sooner your self esteem will build. Only you can take control of your life. It's up to you now.....Be strong for your son.How to deal with ex for your child?
    He knows what to say, and it's all a game to him. Don't read any text he sends you ... just delete it. Tell him if he has something to say that he needs to call you.





    It's easy for him to ';apologize';over a text message, but if you are truly sorry you call... you don't text.





    I think you should definitely seek a good therapist. This man has beaten you down, and I can tell you still have feelings for him.





    Just remember that it's between you and him, not your son. Your son still has the right of having a dad, but don't let him come and go as he pleases.
    I have been there very messy very distressing the best thing i did was go to the solicitors. Even though my ex chose to be abusive and uncivil i made it clear to my solicitor i wanted all the letters sent out to be polite and i had no contact with my ex at all . on occasion now i do go through my ex mothering law. Dont get it twisted at the start it was ranting and raving shouting and screaming. my son was 7 then he is now 12 and i still have no contact with his dad. You can also go through a mediation centre your solicitor will offer that to you. you decide when you want your son to see his dad and stick to it dont let him push you or try to make you feel guilty about anything. Make it clear through the solicitor that if your ex starts t let your boy down there will be consequences. And keep all copys of the letters sent so if he does mess up he cant say you wouldnt let him visit you have letters to prove you tried to do right by your son. take care good luck . I am engaged to the love of my life and have 3 kids you will be haps x

    How do you deal with an Ex-boyfriend having a baby with someone else?

    My ex is having a baby with someone else after just one month of ending our relationship. I've been having a very difficult time dealing with this. When me and my ex-boyfriend broke up we tried to be friends and hang out from time to time one day out of know where he told me we couldn鈥檛 be friends anymore he didn鈥檛 give me a clear explanation he just told me he didn鈥檛 want me to cling to him again we haven鈥檛 spoken since. Later I found out the girl was pregnant at that same time and so he had made her his girlfriend I guess she was a rebound gone wrong but it still hurts. I try to avoid my ex but I still see him all the time with his new pregnant girlfriend and we don鈥檛 say anything to each other. Its hard because not to long ago he was my boyfriend and now were strangers. I feel I might need some closure to tell him how I feel about how things have played out after our brake up but I wouldn鈥檛 know how to start or what to say. Some of my friends have advice me not to talk to him about it and just try to let it go. I鈥檓 full of anger and hurt. I feel like he never cared, how did he replaced me so fast and erased me from his life. I don鈥檛 know how to get this all off my chest. How can I deal with this and move on with my life?How do you deal with an Ex-boyfriend having a baby with someone else?
    You should be thankful!! He did you a favor. You deserve better than that! He has chosen to ruin his life and has, thankfully, chosen not to drag you into it. Go on with your life. Find someone that loves you and doesn't cheat on you with others. You don't have to tell him anything at this point...don't tell him about your feeling (he already knows and there is nothing he can do about it), find your closure somewhere else (without him). Move on, pray for him and his unborn child and move on. This is not the first time you will have to do this in your life,,,,and you will learn each time you have to do it. Set your goals and go for them. You don't need that ball and chain.How do you deal with an Ex-boyfriend having a baby with someone else?
    it might sound funny, but maybe you should see a therapist. it can be good to get a third party's point of view. and i dont think he ';replaced'; you, he just did something stupid and is paying the price. i feel bad for that baby, born out of stupidity, not love
    You have to accept the fact that he's moved on and start living your life and stop worrying about what he's doing. Stay busy with hobbies and activities. Time will heal your wounds.
    helloooooooooo therapy! lol
    Trust me I understand my ex's girlfriend is due in two months. It is not that he never cared about you, he just now has a huge responsablity coming his way. Let him be because it is only going to hurt you if you hold on. Talking about the past won't change the future. The time you guys spent together can't be replaced, but unfortunily it is the past. There will be another man that will come into your life and sweep you off your feet and hopefully you will be in a caring comitted situation where you can have a planned baby. It is hard to have a baby, but it is harder when you weren't expeciting it. The best thing for you is is to send your best wishes and move on for yourself.

    How to deal with an ex??

    i have an ex wife who is with another man that she is pregnate by and still tells me she loves me and cant wait for the day we get back together yet when i have a girl friend she is rude and crude and always scares them awayHow to deal with an ex??
    Why do you bother with her? If your divorced why would she have anything to do with your girlfriend, and why would you want her around your new girlfriend? Put the garbage out and leave it, or you will never have a life, Good Luck!How to deal with an ex??
    wow.... thats really crazy tell her its over between you guys and tell her to stop saying i love you and say your pregnat now and that we will never get back together and get a girlfriend that you will last a long time with

    How to deal with ex who has kids?

    I split from from ex-fiance about 6 months ago due to some bad circumstances between us. the problem is we have twin 2 year old girls and due to us not going through the courts as of yet, visitation and child support is undetermined. Since the first week I left i have been paying her about 600 a month plus i carry the girls health care which is another 250. i have receipts for all the money I have given since the split and have been documenting some things she has done. My problem now is I have found out she isn't using the money I gave her entirely for the girls, so I lowered the amount I am giving her. She did file a child support claim against me and I filled out my packet and returned it but she never completed her portion and child support is dropping the case. With me lowering the amount I am giving her she is now not allowing me to have any contact with the child until I give her the ';original amount'; agreed upon. I have recently began the process of getting a lawyer to draw up custody papers and establish a child support amount because she failed to do so. What would be my best course of action in dealing with her, with her not allowing me to have contact right now? Any answers are appreciated.How to deal with ex who has kids?
    I think you are on the right road with hiring an attorney, it may be some time before you can get her into court and have the visitation set but, whatever you do DOCUMENT everything. As far as her not spending the money entirely for the children, as long as she is supplying them with food, shelter, and taking care of them in general there's not much you can do about that. My hubby's ex paid for a car with the money he gave for the children, she was using the car for them, so as far as the court was concerned it was for them. Don't go there just make sure YOU get the proper amount of visitation and say so in their lives. Make sure you ask for joint custody, if you don't get it and she gets full care, custody, and control, you wont have much say in their lives, and in general you will have to accept ALL the decisions that she makes about your children whither you like it or not. You may think that part is not important now, but they won't stay 2 years old. You as their Dad need to have say in what school's they attend, things they do,etc. without joint custody your opinion means nothing, and you cant enforce it. Just go slow and think about things. This is your children's lives we are talking about here and YOU need to be involved in every aspect of it. Good luck.How to deal with ex who has kids?
    Child support money is so hard to understand. You don't say what it is she is spending it on other than your kids, but you need to understand that the house payment or rent, elec. bill, water bill, gas for the car, heat bill, grocery bills all benefit your kids. She doesn't pay those, your kids don't have those. It is not exactly meant to be spent strictly on personal things for the kids.
    Your doing the best thing. Let the courts decide and they can also decide visitation and all so you have to be able to see them. You can't do this between yourselves because she could up the price so she gets more also.
    This depends on state law, but since the money you are giving her is not court ordered child support, you cannot say how she spends the money, the judge may even consider the money you are giving her simply a gift. My suggestion is that you pay her the original amount in order to regain visitation with your kids, keep good records of the money you are giving her and continue to seek custody with your attorney. It doesn't seem fair, but I would play her game just so you can see your kids...and then turn the tables on her in court!
    Doing things legally in the court, can protect your support of the children, through court ordered documentations of payment for child support and health insurance and other expenses, great to get yourself a lawyer and do it legally..wise move. Your lawyer can also explain to you about 'court order mediation' for custody and visitation issues where you can have a detailed agreement on parenting issues.
    It really depends on what she is using the money for. Six hundred dollars a month is not a ton of money. If she is using this money to pay for clothes, diapers, food, utilities, and shelter expenses, these are all ligitimate ways to spend '; child support money. '; I am unclear on what she is actually doing with the money. But she has no right not letting you see the kids. You need to pursue this legally and quickly. Take her to court, all you need to do is go to the court house and file papers yourself, and then she will have no choice to show up on the court date provided. A friend of mine just went through this, and she got a court date for the very next week. Don't delay things by waiting on a lawyer. The judge will grant you temporary partial custody until there is a regular hearing, where things will get a little more ugly, with money issues and such, and this is when you will need that lawyer. Until then, get your butt in gear and get up to that court house. Best of luck !
    You cannot reduce the amount you pay on your own. There is a process to do that with the courts. Let them decide. However, the courts will tell you that what she spends the money is not your concern. It does not have to all be spent on the girls. The reason for child support is to continue the quality of the children's lives, including paying blls with the money.
    1 As long as the kids are being taken care of the mother can spend the child support however she pleases.





    #2 You should definetly file for joint custody or your kids NO matter what. She should not being using the kids as pawns regarding you spending time with them.
    You are headed in the right direction I think, Attorney! Was the amount you have been giving her put in writing, in other words did you both sign an agreement saying you would give her 600? If you did you maybe screwed. If not then maybe not, and if not maybe you should think about not giving her anything more till you go to court. Without a custody order, there is no real way to make her let you see your children. I know this because I am keeping my soon to be ex from our son, abuse involved. My atty says I can keep him from our son, because of the abuse. You will be better off once you get any atty, most do not want all the money up front. Mine wanted a 1000 retainer and said we'd work the rest out after we go to court, something to think about. I wish you luck.
    Bide your time and remember that you have a lifetime ahead of you of dealing either successfully and respectfully with the mother of your children or a lifetime head of frustration, division, anger and distress for your children. It's up to the both of you to resolve differences through the law/courts if you disagree.





    Your attorney will secure visitation for you and if the mother wants what is best for her daughters, she will not get in the way of your relationship with them.





    You don't say what she is using the child support money for. However, you did agree to the $600 plus insurance and if that is the legal percentage from your income required by law in your state, you'll probably have to go back to that, plus pay up what you've been recently withholding.





    If she is legally the sole guardian of the girls, she can dictate terms of visitation to you when you have no legal agreement from the court. Your attorney can help you, especially if you file for joint custody.





    Good luck with your situation.
    She is a *****, call the police and say your wife kidnapped your kids and says she wants money to let you see them because she is a crackhead. Should be very effective.
    Get all the court proceedings started. Shouldn't take long to get a court ruling since this won't be a full blown divorce case. Ask your lawyer if the family courts in your location require you to take parenting classes or anything like that. If so, you can be a step ahead of the game by already being enrolled in whatever the court requires. Always present your side as being in the best interest of the children. Judges like that a lot better than when it looks like you're just there to win a fight against your ex.





    Also, when the court does rule an amount that you must pay each month you will never really know for sure if she is spending all of it on the girls. It was good and right for you to send her $600 per month and keep the insurance on the girls (especially without being court ordered to do so.) But if your ex is working too, $600 per month could easily be eaten up in day care expenses for a couple of two year olds. It's very expensive to raise children and your little twins will need all the support they can get from both of you.
    I'm sorry to hear this and thank you for being an involved dad- the world needs more of that!!





    1st- child support and visitation are NOT the same thing. YOU should file for visitation with family court.





    You can file for both issues at the same time- custody/visitation and child support payments. Depending upon where you live there are different calculations some states go by to determine the appropriate amount. In Virginia where I live, I believe the amount is $400 per child, per month (but I'm not sure).





    As for the ex not using the $ for your children- be careful with that one. Any household expense can be justified as supporting the children...BUT if she isn't paying her own rent, etc and is rolling around in new outfits...you may be able to prove that.





    Good luck with this!
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  • What to do? Divorced- how to deal with ex who is a liar and emailing me a few times a week?

    Ex constantly lies - in court and through emails- and seems to be dillussional. I am getting a few emails a week- which I usually ignore, but there is one that I will more than likely need to answer- as deals with our child and a cosmetic proceedure.(Ex wants me to pitch in for the 5K cost.) Oh, I should mention the emails never contain any questions for me- just statements/dmands. And lies- like that was nice of you to let me know ... this or that .... when I did let them know ... this or that.(If that makes any sense w/o getting iinto detail.) Now, I am at a loss because I want to keep the lines of communication open for our children. Although, ex sees communication differently- has destroyed my mail to kids, takes phone off hook/unplugs it so I can't talk to them/deletes my emails to them/or blocks me. This is the only email dealing with childs ';health'; - most are-you will do this because I say- like not have the kids around my family- or animals! What is a nice way to respond backWhat to do? Divorced- how to deal with ex who is a liar and emailing me a few times a week?
    Why are you so concerned about a ';nice way to respond back';? This guy is a jerk and he is manipulating you and keeping you off balance with his crazy-making ways.





    Send him an e-mail and spell it out that in no uncertain terms will you communicate with him until he stays on the subject of the children, stops accusing you of things, stops trying to start arguments, etc. And, if he continues with the childish e-mails, just delete them and to Hell with him!





    Now, from your posting, I am to assume the children are living with him? Or. when you write about not being able to talk to them, is that when he has them for his visitations?





    I'm really not sure what the ';medical'; communication is all about...you'll have to be more specific about that.





    Do not put up with his BS!!!What to do? Divorced- how to deal with ex who is a liar and emailing me a few times a week?
    First off....make sure you keep all emails and replys u send to her....second.....I would request a copy of a bill for your childs proceedure before i would ever give her any money.....third....how old are your children??? when they get older they will ask questions. Do you have any court ordered visitation? if so wait until then to give the children things
    ask the authorities or your lawyer.
    Keep the e-mails. S/he obviously is trying to control you through your children. Let him/her know that if s/he doesn't stop you will have to fight for full custody to protect the children. I really would not want to leave my children alone with a man/woman that is so domineering and obsessive. Supervised visitation seems to be the best option.
    print out a copy of the emails. let her sink herself.
    Ask your attorney?
    I'm not sure if there is a nice way to respond back. Do the kids know your ex is doing all of this? This is a hard one- my grandma always said if anyone is doing you wrong in anyway ''kill them with kindness' ,yeah i always found that hard to do , but it does work I seen her do it more times than I can count and people didn't know how to act she was so calm ,cool and collected, i amazed me that no matter the situation she always came out a winner. You know your ex, figure it out.......DO WHAT YOU HALF TO ,BUT MAKE SURE TH EX KNOWS YOU KNOW MORE THAN THEY THINK...
    Save the emails and bring to your lawyer. Find out what your options are and figure out what your goals are. Do you want your children full time?





    Have your lawyer rewrite your divorce agreement and clarify what you are responsible for.





    Good luck.
    just agree, it saves arguments...





    or





    thank you for letting me know
    change your e-mail? (but this would be cutting communication off about your kids.)





    have you gotten the police involved?

    If an ex did this what would u do?

    So here is the deal. My ex-GF split up with me, cos she said she didn't have the feelings she thought she had. We had only started going out, but we were close as friends before. So i am proper devasted, she was my first GF (i am 21)





    Anyway we live far apart, and things kinda got rushed in the excitment of the beginning of a relationship, and then i went away abroad for a month, and when i returned, she said things weren't how she expeceted. She said she expected to fall madly in love with me.





    She wanted us to start again, slow, dating. I agreed, but before she let me take her on a first date, she said she only saw me as a friend, a brother figure. But she never gave me a chance.





    But i honestly think we have a future, we just have to take things slow. So i want to send her a text saying........





    'Hey...i understand u have no feelings for me. But u did. I think we rushed things, got carried away. All i ask for is one date. We can build a relationship slowly, thats what u said we should do. If u feel nothing we move on. But i dont wanna look back on this and think what if. I can't let someone as amazing and beautiful as u go, with a trying every possibility. One date, what is there to lose. Just think about it.'





    The problem is i already asked her to give me another try once, and she said no. And i am worried if i try again, i could do damage to our friendship i cannot repair. And i really value her as a friend.





    But i hate doing nothing, it seems like i am just sitting and waiting for some other guy to find her, and i will always regret not taking my chance.If an ex did this what would u do?
    '; The problem is i already asked her to give me another try once, and she said no ';





    Its a shame you couldn't condense that, answered your own question. Move on, shes not interested. Otherwise, surely youre just pestering ?





    ed - s'funny sela. I always thought NO meant no, I guess not in a rapist / stalkers type mindset eh? 拢100 says that answer gets picked ;-pIf an ex did this what would u do?
    id send the text and hope for the best, but if you dont get the reply you hope for id move on


    good luck xx
    always speak your heart...that's very sweet and sincere what your wrote...but for now i would let her come around maybe eventually she will change her mind and if not there are plenty of fish in the sea...your still young...
    yeah u cant go on the creep like that just play it cool for a couple weeks or so....she will think your to clingy if your all up in her ****..just play it cool..
    I'm proud of you for wanting to take chances. When it comes to the dating game too many are afraid to even try, but being rejected happens more often than most realize. And sifting through more will land you in the right relationship faster by taking risks rather than just not taking any chance at all. So for this I commend you in your efforts. But I think you've done the most you can in this particular situation. She is not coming half way to meet you. And you've tried. Although you may be correct about her possibly having feelings for you, more than a friend, she is not responding to your advances. If you push you may lose the friendship as well. If you must try again just to be sure that you gave it your all you could try, but texting may not be the best solution unless she's avoiding you. And if she's avoiding you, you may have already gone too far in her eyes. If you do text, write or talk, just tell her exactly how you feel. And tell her to take some time to think about it. But don't become her doormat, or take advantage of you, or let her get in the way of another possibility that may come your way. Don't be blinded by just her. I know you care but I see you wasting years of your life over a woman who may never return her love to yours. Keep your heart open to other girls and other possiblities. Good luck.
    Oh well i guess because I'm rather younger than you i dont have much to say but i can always try.


    I have liked one of my best friends for a few years so i guess i get it.


    I agree i would try it and ask her to please tell give you a chance and if she doesn't want too ask her then if you two can remain close friends. Living with a what if is never worth it.
    Doing nothing IS something.





    CHASING HER IS BAD.





    Trust me,if you do nothing one of 2 possilbilities will happen.





    Either


    A. she will find someone else,and you WILL get over her





    or





    B. she will act





    Either way,you will be better in the long run.





    Grow a pair dude,girls dont like simpering wimps.





    Go on some dates with other girls,you will feel better i promise





    P.S. do not have ANY contact with her. do not hang out as friends. That will make it harder to get over her. Girls want that to happen thats why they suggest it. She will know she always has you on the ';back burner'; . With zero contact,her imagination will have to fill in the gaps
    dude, your going to creep her out, shes going to think your obsessed with her, just be friends with her, hang out with her alot as friends, dont mention relationship with her. if you are willing to take things slow, then take them slow as friends first, and see if things progress from there.


    i hope this helps...just trust me on this one :]


    good luck! :]

    How do i talk to an ex that i havent talked to for about a year?

    okay so heres the deal. my ex girl was my first time and id atleast like to be on good terms with her. i thought she had cheated on me and i dnt know if i was right or not but i broke up with her and then we fought for a day and never said another word to each other. keep in mind were 17 and this was like last year so its not a huge deal or anything, itd just be nice ya know? shes got back together w/ her other exboyfriend and theyve been together ever since but not like that really matters anyways. so does anyone have any suggestions of how i should t\start talking to her again or should i just see what happens. any advice is appreciated, especially from a girl cause im sure girls would know what to do in this situation haha


    -thanks!How do i talk to an ex that i havent talked to for about a year?
    Im going through something similar, my ex is trying to get back into my life, i was pretty cool about it because i have finally left things in the past. you never know, you guys could be friends or something.How do i talk to an ex that i havent talked to for about a year?
    go for it. Say hi and talk to her as a friend. let hr know u just want to be friends and keep in touch. I think its always better when u guys have time to get over each other and then start talking again. Its always worked for me.

    How do you deal with an ex-boyfriend who is still in love with you?

    I was with my boyfriend for almost 3 years. He moved 2500 miles from me to go to graduate school and I was very supportive of him doing so for the success of his carreer. A few months before he left, we started fighting more than ever before. He began to get more moody than usual and started to take advantage of having me in his life. I basically felt like I was trying my best to do everything the way he wanted to. I even applyed to graduate schools in the area in which he's now living. After a year of long distance dating, I started to realize the small amounts of time we DID see each other, he'd be stressed and take out his feelings on me as if I were the one to blame. I broke up with him about 3 weeks ago. He still keeps trying to call, send me text messages, etc. I've been very blunt to him about how I feel, will he ever realize that our relationship is over? I worry though, that he's taking this really hard. Should I keep going without talking to him?How do you deal with an ex-boyfriend who is still in love with you?
    If you don't want to continue the relationship then you got to be strong and move on without him. The only way he's gonna get it through his head that it's over is by completly ignoring his calls even if it's hard to not pick up, it takes time but everytime you answer his phone calls ur giving him hope that ya'll are gonna be together. think of it this way, obviously he doesn't love you b/c he's not respecting ur feelings and the decision you made, so why should you care bout his feelings so much???How do you deal with an ex-boyfriend who is still in love with you?
    I think you should keep your distance for a while, you say that you have been blunt about this and that he doesn't want to leave you alone, so I think it will be best if you keep your distance. You could try being really rude to him (but I would not go that route), you could also tell him that if he wants you as friend he should accept that is over and move on because that is what you are doing. Good luck
    stick with your decision


    it's over and he needs to understand that
    now you are not with him he is missing you but this does not mean that he loves you.... dont think about him and move on with your life you will be more happy.... ignore his messages
    tell him flat out if you don't like him and tell him you want him to leave you alone! if he doesn't then you block his number. the way he treated you is really uncalled for and you deserve more.don't let him make you feel bad at all if you don't love him he will get over it!!!!!! there is no need for you to feel bad and make sure you are firm when you say STOP!!!!if you don't want to talk to him then don't.
    this happened to me. i acctually ended up datin his like almost bff, so that screwed things up a little bit, but u just have to not let the things he says or do get to u and just try to stay away from him. i would just be =friendly every now nad then but in the end u have to do what makes u happy, and if that means not talkin to him then so be it.
    You really do need to cut off all contact. And I know this cause I have been on the other end of this (your ex bf's position), and every time he spoke to me or hung out with me or acted somewhat affectionate toward me it only gave me false hope.





    Eventually I think he realized he was hurting me and that I was not capable of simply being friends with him and he completely cut off all contact. At first I was DEVASTATED but in the end it turned out the be the best thing for me. I wasn't capable of cutting him out of my life myself.
    If you talk to him you will give him false hopes. My ex stalked me for months, I changed my numbers, ignored letters and cards and avoided going any place where I might see him. He eventually got over it. If you are SURE its over, its better to be cruel in the short term or he will never move on.
    First of all are you sure the relationship is over, seems you guys are just stressed at living so far away from one another.





    I would write him a letter if you are 100% sure you no longer want the relationship to continue, be honest about your reasons and tell him you no longer want him to call as is upsetting you.





    If he doesnt get the message after that simply change your phone number...


    if he persists he has a serious problem and get a restraining order,,,





    best wishes





    kim

    How do I deal with an ex who isn't harrassing me but also won't let go?

    He does the occasional hang up call or gets his son to ask me stupid questions and then hangs up. I have changed my number but he has a friend at a phone company and got my new number!!!!!! But it isn't constant so I feel stupid calling the cops. I am sure it's HIM. What can I do ??any ideas??How do I deal with an ex who isn't harrassing me but also won't let go?
    Well if you are sure it is him you could phone your local phone service provider and have his number blocked from your phone line I believe you can also get to it by hitting *77 in your country but don't hold me to it. As long as his behavior isn't threatening I don't think police are worth being involved. Try blocking the number, and if he still hassles you then try police. Or move to England lol ;)How do I deal with an ex who isn't harrassing me but also won't let go?
    i had the same problem he would call me and follow me everywhere he showed up to my house really drunk and begged for me back and i said no and he got pissed and ended up hitting the side of my house cause he was mad and drunk so i got a restraining order on him because this is the ex that beat me for 4 months and locked me in his house my parents called the cops and they showed up to his house i was beaten half to death i was bruised everywhere black and blue 2 black eyes i could not talk i could not move i couldn't do anything so i would say call the cops thats your best bet cause the harrassment wont stop til then

    Guys, is it really difficult to get over an ex-girlfriend, especially the first one?

    My friend's bf had a gf for 7 years. This girl was his first..in everything. It's not a big deal since my friend also came out of a 7 year relationship but she doesn't contact him anymore. But here's the deal, the ex-gf seemed to be ';perfect';. Sometimes, my friend ask him about her (which I think is not good), and he answered proudly--about how beautiful,sexy and intelligent she is. The other things don't matter BUT when he already talked about his ex-gf skill in bed (while he was making love to my friend) and wanted her to have the same skill , that blew out my friend's mind. She felt that he was trying to make her imitate that girl. He apologized to my friend and she accepted it but deep inside, she feels so terrible. That's why I told her to break up with him but she still wanna give it a shot. Well, the ex-gf is in another country but she always keeps in touch with him (emails, phonecalls). And they didn't wanna break-up. It's just that he must come here so he just left her there.Guys, is it really difficult to get over an ex-girlfriend, especially the first one?
    sounds like he still has issues with the ex girlfriend and is trying to recreate her in your friend i mean what he said when they were in bed what guy in his right mind would say that. He needs to deal with this issue as soon as possible if not your friend should move on she deserves someone who will care for her for being her not trying to make her into someone else.Guys, is it really difficult to get over an ex-girlfriend, especially the first one?
    lol


    sorry
    sometimes, it need time to get over...
    No.
    Every guy has the first girlfriend story, the first girl makes guys what they are today
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  • Any ideas on how to deal with an ex-friend?

    I used to be friends with someone until I unknowingly insulted her.happened in the beginning of last yr.I tried to work things out with her,but she still didnt to cooperate.So I gave her some space.Pretty soon she started dissing me in front of our group of friends when I wasn't there. In the beginning the group turned against me, but towards the end of the year things became normal again It was hard to hang out with the group during the summer because she was always there ignoring me. AWKWARD! I didn't do anything about it because I wanted to give her space.This year, our senior year HS, started off with the cold shoulder. I said hey in halls, even though she ignored me.Things seemed to become okay until last wk.She flipped out.This time we were in a group project together, and I figured we were done (she worked on giving silly names to mood ratings).So I worked on hw. She flipped out and dissed me many times in front of our entire group. Now she disses me in front of the class.Any ideas on how to deal with an ex-friend?
    1. How do I deal with her attitude?


    --I would completely ignore her. It sounds as if she has issues. If she wants to make a scene and draw attention to herself - let her. The attention is negative attention anyway.





    2. We share friends


    --Continue to share friends. If she wants to act like a juvenile, let her. Your true friends will come around after awhile.





    3. she doesn't want to talk


    --Do you really want to talk to her? I think you're better off at this point moving on.





    4. She actually threw a cookie at me one time because she was ticked off. She also does this to other people.


    --If I were you, I would have laughed in her face. C'mon threw a cookie at you? How ridiculous is that? Let her throw the temper tantrums everyone will see who the bigger person is.Any ideas on how to deal with an ex-friend?
    well the only problem there seems to be her attitude and you be strong and diss her -- if you have to fight her -- i know its probably wat you dont want to hear but somtimes it can work-- these kind of peopl are the kind that you hav to give very strong and hurtful disses until they finally baack off-- the silly little comments arent gona work for her and if they dont hurt her they shouldnt hurt you -- now i wouldnt fight her if shes way bigger than you and if your already in alot of trouble kind of -- say a secret that you know about her that noone elz does

    How do you deal with an ex boyfriend or girlfriend that is still your friend?

    I don't know how to deal with this, so I was wondering how the rest of you more experienced and maybe a little older people deal with it.... I'm pretty good friends with my ex-boyfriend and my new boyfriend understands that... it's been over a year since I broke up with my ex. My new boyfriend only broke up with his ex girlfriend less than a year ago (January) and he was with her for 2 years, I was only with my ex for about half a year. I know I should be fair since I still talk to my ex that he should still be able to talk to her, but still I can't help it... it makes me uncomfortable.... how do the rest of you deal with it? Are most people still friends with their ex-es?How do you deal with an ex boyfriend or girlfriend that is still your friend?
    I think it's fair. It's normal to feel uncomfortable in that kind of situation. My ex is still my friend, and his newest ex is still my friend. I never mind it. I never think, oh this is my ex, oh my gosh, he's talking to a girl. I don't really care about it. So don't think about it too much.How do you deal with an ex boyfriend or girlfriend that is still your friend?
    You help them find a good counselor, because they will need it.

    HOW TO DEAL WITH EX GURLFRIENDS?

    ok justin just broke up with his 8th grade gf and she knows alot of high skool kids that i go to skool with. I cant get in anymore fights cuz last time i put a chick in the hospital and now im on probation. And i have never really handled situations maturly. So what do i do????? how should i handle this???HOW TO DEAL WITH EX GURLFRIENDS?
    handle what?...it is none of your business...there is nothing to handle.


    fighting is stupid. why would you want to fight someone over this, no one has done anything to you.HOW TO DEAL WITH EX GURLFRIENDS?
    wow!!!!!! Ur A stupid freshmen! Grow up and dont cause drama. I HATE THAT!
    well don't get in trouble with the law foe their sorry A words... juss kiss em good bye and leave.
    like the other person said deal with it
    find a guy who has no strings and see where things go with him.
    Well, I don't understand why you would get into any fights with highschoolers. Um, just avoid her as much as possible. :]
    Deal with it and grow up. Not much else you can do.
    Big deal. life your life.


    If you dated a lot kids from high school good for you maybe she's jealous.

    How do I deal with my ex when I want to be with her but depression may have caused our break up?

    I will shortly be meeting my ex for a drink. She ended things 1 mth ago after going out 9 mths on the basis her feelings had changed. This coincided with her suffering from depression. She also suffers from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.





    She raised the issue of us splitting and I said to her I thought she was depressed (she has a history). She admitted she was %26amp; went to the dr who prescribed prozac and counselling. 1 wk later she said she wasn't depressed, didn't need counselling and it was our relationship causing her unhapiness. We broke up.





    I didn't contact her to give her space. She contacted me recently on the basis she owed me money. I said to not worry about that. She then said she had a dvd of mine which she could bring round if I wanted. I wasn't sure what to make of her contact





    I decided to ring her to chat. We have now agreed to meet. I am not sure what her intentions are?





    I do miss her %26amp; want to be with her but am not sure how to go about it witout scaring her off?How do I deal with my ex when I want to be with her but depression may have caused our break up?
    I dont think you will scare her off,it sounds to me like she wants to get back with you,so be a little cool.How do I deal with my ex when I want to be with her but depression may have caused our break up?
    Sounds like she is desperate to get back together with you. Be cool but don't be too lovey dovy - she has hurt you by not letting you in. Be there fore her and take it from there.





    Good luck and thank goodness for men like you!!!
    It sounds like she wants to see you - she seemed to be making excuses to meet up. Take things slowly. Depression is a terrible thing - I myself have suffered with post natal depression, and my husband has also suffered from depression (lack of seretonin) and has been on pills for 4 years now. We split up over his depression at first, and he moved out and left me with the kids, but after a few months he sorted himself out enough to realise that he really did want to be with me, and it was just a chemical imbalance causing the problems.





    good luck = i really hope things work out for you.
    go to meet her and just take it slowley a month isnt very long for her to have resolved issues surrounding her illness living with depression is full of highs and lows you can make it clear that you are going to be there for her is she bi polar(manic depressive) you need to be very strong person to handle this condition as it can chip away at your own sanity she will need her confidence boosted so a small token of you afection would go a long way to help flowers always go down well unless she has an allergy above all let her know that she is valued good luck
    Be patient!





    Assuming you enjoy her company when you meet up, tell her so!





    Let her know that you will be there for her if she needs you, but leave it up to her to ring. That would be my suggestion. Wouldn't hurt to have an idea in your mind about how long you are prepared to wait. Waiting is painful isn't it?!





    I think if a doc is going to prescribe and refer to counselling, they must think something is going on... CFS can be extremely wearing on a person, physically and mentally.





    Be patient, leave it up to her, let things settle a bit for her. Counselling can make you feel worse before you feel better.
    personally i think that she wants to meet you she tried by saying about the money, then when that didn't work she used the old i have something of yours, if she didn't want to meet you she would have just left it up to you to ask for the dvd back





    although i'm not a doctor i do have some previous experience with depression, i think she might be still depressed and a little confused about how shes feeling


    i think you should tread very carefully with her she might think she wants you back but not sure how to go about it after hurting you telling you that her feelings had changed





    be careful for your own feelings you don't want to be hurt again if she changes her mind again or she just wants to be friends either way if you care for this girl i would encourage her to go back to the doctor and get the help that she should have done before and just be there for her.





    good luck hope you get what you want.

    How do you deal with his ex?

    I met some one that I consider on marrying who is 25 years my senior, but his kids seem to have a problem and his ex will not move on and seems to have an issue with me and is always leaving threatening messages on my answer machine?How do you deal with his ex?
    You must understand how his children feel. 25 years is more then just a little age gap. I used to date much older guys, Twice when I was 19 and then 21 and he was 37 and 39. And I thought that was huge, you're even 7 more years then that. After dating older men and | must say, having a lot of fun with them, I'm so glad I married a man only 2 years older then me. It's not you personally that they are mad at, it's you, the other women in their dads life and the other women that is way too young for him. You'll just have to learn to deal with the ex, it's not like she's going anywhere. The kids will probably never except you, you on the other hand will have to learn to except that. Just my thoughts.How do you deal with his ex?
    This is a tricky situation, but I believe the one who can make everything works fine would be for your boyfriend to set things right with them. If you try to talk to his ex, it make back-fire and make things look bad for you.

    How to deal with ex-gf and maybe save relationship?

    my gf and I broke up quite dramatically two months ago, though for no particular reason.I tried to fix things immediately but she blew me off and she was still very confused.she got back in touch two weeks ago to see if she could drop off some of my stuff, and to my surprise, she was very friendly on the phone and sounded like she wanted to see me,but I cut her off as I couldn't talk, and I didnt call her back. I finally saw her yesterday,I emailed her to ask if she could drop off my stuff at 9am and I was waiting outside in my expensive new car (which surprised her) as I had to go pick someone up at the airport. while i was inside, my ex saw pictures of a very pretty girl among my vacation photos in the car,and a girls hairband and shoes in the seat pocket, this girl also called from the airport while my ex and I were talking, to see when I was coming.my ex was very cold and distant when she left,and didnt want a ride home.do you think she was jealous? btw that 'girl' is my cousin.How to deal with ex-gf and maybe save relationship?
    ofcourse call her immediatley and ask her out fo this friendly dinner. it sounds like she's still in to you so don't mess it up and don't keep her waiting for long.How to deal with ex-gf and maybe save relationship?
    It sounds like she still has feelings for you, so if you want to salvage things you could call her up for a date and volunteer the information that what she saw was your cousin's and admit that you knew she didn't realize that. When she hears that, I bet she'll jump at the chance.





    Unless you're from Arkansas and there's something more going on with your cousin.
    Tell her who the girl was and then ask her to please come over and just talk to you. Let her know that you need to talk about some stuff and you need to do it soon. I would first find out why the break up even happened. Is she with anyone new? Ask questions and get to the bottom of everything. After that then you can determine if you want to be together or not. Either way, you need to have a long conversation with her (in person) to move on or hook back up. Good Luck :)
    She was just probably jealous. Call her again and invite her to do something with you. If she ever mentions who that girl was tell her it was your cousin %26amp; she'll probably feel loads better





    Good luck
    Well dude, I am trying to save my relationship as well. Maybe I can be of some help. She obviously seemed jealous, maybe she still has feelings for you inside. Try talking to her, not to much though. Make her feel like it doesn't matter to you whether you get back together or not. Call her up, talk to her a bit, don't mention relationships. Basically, act like you did before you started dating, and be friendly. Make her want you again, they always come crawling back. I've been through this many times, and I am going through it right now as well. Best of luck to you man, hope it works out.
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  • How to deal with an ex-friend that I dumped because she was insidious, mean and envious.?

    This is a life long chilhood friend that I later always kept at bay because she was always a caddy envious friend that always found an insidious way to undermine your self-esteem (you know the type.) They give back handed compliments, find something wrong with your outfit when you look great, etc. We had it out - I called her out on her behavior, now I just want to keep her the hell away from, but she finds ways to cause me unnecessary annoyance and trouble, such as threatening my business. How does one drive such a person 1000 miles away?How to deal with an ex-friend that I dumped because she was insidious, mean and envious.?
    If she is threatening your business, you should probably talk to a lawyer about the legal repercussions and maybe even about getting a restraining order against her. Don't put it off. Don't wait until the last minute. Find out what your options are NOW.How to deal with an ex-friend that I dumped because she was insidious, mean and envious.?
    You can't physically force her from your state or space but you can move on with your life. Your attention is feeding her. If you give no energy to the situation she will go away completely. She's obviously very empty and unhappy inside but those are issues she has to deal with herself.
    If you dumped her you shouldn't have to deal with her at all. If she is threatening you, call the cops and get a restraining order.
    DON';T
    well try talking to her, tell her that she hurts peoples feelings when she acts like a ***** and if she would change her attitude a lot more people would like her more. and if that dosent work just be an asswhole back to her than shell leave you alone

    How to deal with ex-gf?

    My ex-gf and I broke up around 2 months ago, I was cool for a while, but we remained very attached and I ended up panicking and trying desperately to get back together with her which backfired horribly and ended up with her telling me to stop calling. I know from friends though that this was all simply in anger over my stupid and desperate actions, and now that I am back to my normal self, and she has cooled down, she seems to be trying to get back in touch (a short email to see if i was in town, a couple of chat messages)...but I have not answered her. I think we both really want to get back together deep down, but am not sure what to do. She is very proud and would not easily admit that she wants me back, even if she does (and both I and her friends think she does). I feel I should either carry on ignoring her for a while, or maybe see her very casually but not push things at all..what do you think will give us the best chance of saving our strong, wonderful relationship of 2 years?How to deal with ex-gf?
    People normally want that which they cannot have. However, if she's throwing you a biscuit, you ought to respond with a friendly wag of your tail or something. Wait till she contacts you again, and then respond back with a short, ';I'm doing great, how are you'; message. Make sure she knows that you are happy and well adjusted and do not give her any idea that you're going to be desperate and frantic. That will scare her off. I believe in you! You can save this if you're careful!How to deal with ex-gf?
    Be willing to risk vulnerability yourself by opening your heart and telling your story. Then be quiet and listen to her heart. Give her the time and space to battle with her pride. That's a battle she alone must fight. If it's love, and if love wins the battle, be ready to love and celebrate. And if it isn't, well, be willing to move on to someone who chooses love.
    If it had been longer since you saw her, I'd suggest mentally denying that you know her. don't try to renew the relationship with her, unless she's willing to renew it, and let you be in charge. IF she's too proud to admit taht she wants you back, maybe she really doesn't. So go ahead, forget her, deny you know her, and move on to another lady. Maybe the new one will be better for you.
    I'd highly recommend that you take things very slowly. Start hanging out with other friends in a social group and see how that turns out between you both. If you ignore her you might be missing out on something great and she'll really not like you. Main thing: keep it slow and don't push her into anything. She'll come around if she really does like you still.

    How do you deal with ANNOYING EX?

    all of sudden my ex is going haywire on me saying I treated her badly and crap, going nuts on me.





    She doesnt stop calling me or texting me and stuff.





    I told her to stop and this is a very critical point in my life, im training for the AF, and I dont have time for distractions, and she doesn't leave me alone.





    How do you deal with ANNOYING EX?
    Well, do you have a hammer?How do you deal with ANNOYING EX?
    Get a restraining order on her she sounds crazy who knows what she might do next.
    Change your number, get a restraining order.


    The airforce will keep you too busy to get bothered by her, though...






    Give her a thumbs down.
    just cut her off don't talk to her at all! just try your best to ignore her
    Run into her.


    Then put it in reverse and hit her again.





    That's what you need to do.
    tell her 'shut the f* up, cuz i dont give a f*ing shi t abt u, ******.' then tell her 'once i become an AF, i'll shoot ur head off if u dont shut up.'
    hire someone to kill her.


    lol


    no, just explain it to her. not when she's emotional, though, she'll contradict you.
    Restraing Order and change # don't let her mess up your plans


    with AF
    Introduce her to at least 50 of your mates....lol
    i hope you find an answer for this one because i dont know how to deal with mine
    total cold treatment.
    Block her calls.

    How to deal with an ex boyfriend of my girlfriend?

    this kid wont leave her alone, he is alway strying to manipulate her and make her feel bad. What is a good way to solve this?How to deal with an ex boyfriend of my girlfriend?
    Depending on your age- apparently 14 or so- just don't hang around him if you can. Do your homework without him around. If that doesn't work have her take a shotgun and stick it in his face or groin and tell him next time she will pull trigger- That get your attention? 'Manipulate' as in leave you or give him 1/2 priced nights worth?How to deal with an ex boyfriend of my girlfriend?
    To tell him to back off of your girl!!
    my ex boyfriend did the same thing to me when i was with someone else (who is also an ex now).





    it really made my new boyfriend at the time upset.





    i would say to confront him, and tell him to back off nicely. if he gets rude and snappy with you, do the same back. but the best thing is also is not to get frustrated or angry with your girlfriend. it's not like she asked for any of this to happen, and i'm sure she doesn't want to be mean to the guy.





    best of luck!
    confront him and tell him to back off. ask her first though, you don't want to embarrass her. I would just tell him to knock the sh*t off.
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  • How to deal with an Ex Boyfriend?

    So around this time last year I started dating this guy. A few months later he called it off, and began to harass me by calling my house and leaving mean messages on my phone. Anyways yesterday I got home to find an email telling me how sorry he was for being rude, and now he wants to be friends and add me on some social website....What should I do???How to deal with an Ex Boyfriend?
    Accept his apology. Allow him the opportunity to be a friend.


    Don't add yourself to his friends list until after he has earned your trust and become a friend.How to deal with an Ex Boyfriend?
    RUN!


    The guy definitely has issues.


    Maybe it's a spring thing......
    He called it off!!!! Let him know you don't want to be harrassed..... If he was mean before why the sudden change???? He might be setting you up for something.... Don't give him the time of day.....
    click ignore if he spent that much time harassing you he has no intention of being friends.... If he isn't bothering you now don't get him started again