Posting for a friend--how to deal with ex?:?

My wife cheated on me with the next door neighbor. They had an ongoing affair for 2 years. The other guy came clean to me about how long and how much a week or so ago. Ex and I have been separated since April. I am trying very hard to process all this, realize how much I have been lied to and made to be a fool. She did not want to go to counseling, just wanted out and now she is with the new guy. We have two young children and I am trying to do the best I can for them. The problem is that my ex keeps phoning and texting me. She is upset about every thing I do with the kids. Every decision I make is questioned, She makes derogatory comments about my family -- who have come from two states away to try and help me through this -- . She tells me I am evil, she quotes scripture to me which I can't quite figure out -- she is the one who had a 2 year affair. I am under so much stress because of how she harangues me constantly. I can't just get rid of my phone because I need to stay in contact with my kids in case they need me. They are too young to have their own phones. I try to just not respond to her but then I am accused of ignoring her. If I don't text her back right away she calls and calls and calls. Then the new guy starts texting me too and calling me names. What should I do?Posting for a friend--how to deal with ex?:?
Find out through the courts when you can see your children or when she can see them. You are going to drive your self crazy dealing with the nonsense that is happening with your now ex spouse.Posting for a friend--how to deal with ex?:?
call the Police for harassment and tell her if she calls or he calls your make a call to the police to file for harassment.
The guilt that she has for herself is being thrown at you. You did nothing wrong. She is the coward to went behind your back and did what she did. You can tell her that she can call you once a week to follow-up on the kids. As far as the new guy, tell him to kiss off as this has NOTHING to do with him. Forget about what she says about you and your family, she is and will always be the LOSER. Good for you for raising your kids. You will get over this, it'll take time. Remember, it had NOTHING to do with you.
The relationship is over. Who cares if she feels ignored? You have no obligation to listen to her berate you. Tell her that you will talk to her about kids and settling divorce issues that need to be taken care of if she is going to be civil, but as soon as she gets nasty or way off topic, the conversation is over. If she texts you mean things or starts ranting at you, ignore or hang up on her. Respond only to relatively polite messages about practical matters.





No, this will not keep her from being mean. It will not make her see reason. It may, however, get her to tone it down at least some of the time, and you will avoid feeding the drama fire. As to the new guy, there's no need to talk to him at all about anything, so see if there is a way to block him so he can't call or text you. Otherwise, just delete his messages without reading them.
File for sole custody of your children. The phone calls and texts are proof that your wife is malicious and has done the wrong in your relationship. Get an attorney. Go to therapy so the judge knows that you are having a difficult time with all of this and it will help you. There are so many things you can do. The situation that you ex wife has put you and your children in is not healthy for the children. Good Luck and I hope this helped.
Tough situation, but its kind of a mix of something my friend and I are in right now....





First of all, it seems she is trying to manipulate you. I'm not sure what she wants you to do, but it sounds like she is trying to rub your face in it. Since there are two sides to every story, you might want to sit down with her (sans children and new boyfriend) and find out exactly what she wants. After hearing her out, you need to assert your right as a father that has a relationship with his children. As long as you two can agree on the children and looking out for their welfare, then the rest you should ignore.





The easiest way to do this is to tell her that you only want to speak to her about the children. Be assertive with this. State your point and be done with it. From the way it sounds, she is wanting to drag you into something you have no desire to be involved with. Tell her its none of your business what she does in her spare time, same as its none of her business what you do in your time.





With my ex, I had to attend counseling to learn how to deal with his manipulation. Many times, we allow ourselves to give in to someone else's demands and this places a lot of stress on you, which at this point you don't need.





My advice is to find a good cognitive therapist (and attorney!) that can help you develop a plan to deal with this situation. It helps to have that outside perspective and have someone coach you through this diffiicult time. A good plan and learning new ways to deal with manipulation is invaluable as it will serve you later, as well.
I would consult your lawyer about a Temporary Restraining Order and setting up a Temporary Custody Order. Have any exchange of the children happen at a public place such as the parking lot of the police station - have all communication about the children go through email (where it can be documented). With all that she is doing, you should be able to set this up. Then you will also have record of her actions when it comes time to setting up the custody order - she is already exhibiting signs of Parental Alienation Syndrome, and that should get you points with the court towards full custody.





Good Luck!