Please help me deal with an ex boyfriend with depression...?

I was with my ex-boyfriend for almost a year and we were very much in love - very happy together, no major problems or fights, he treated me like a queen and I adored him. Everyone said that they could tell we made each other very happy and were very much in love. We were getting close to a commitment stage (had plans to move in and become engaged in the next few months) but the last few weeks our our relationship he was more distant and and one day he suddenly broke up with me saying he wasn't happy and couldn't be in a relationship anymore. I first attributed it to cold feet or the fact he just didn't want me anymore and though I didn't understand it planned to try to move on with my life.





But it has now been almost 2 months since our break up and we have talked several times. He has been in therapy since our break up, has been diagnosed with depression and desperately wants to get better (considering trying medication) and doing whatever it takes to not feel this way anymore. He tells me he loves me and wants to be with me and marry me one day but has to be in a better place, where he is happier with himself and life in general. He says he is in a funk where has an underlying sadness all the time and what he thinks happened is the stresses of our relationship, work, and family all got out of control and he got stuck in this depression. He knows pushing me away and how he suddenly ended our relationship was totally wrong but knows that pushing the ones you loved away is a sign of depression, which he now realizes he has. He says he wants to be in a better place and be on the road to fixing these problems so when we do get back together this won't happen again (basically fix himself so he can be in a place where he understands his problems and can deal with stresses before they spiral out of control and go into a depressive episode.


I love him very much and I know he is worth all of this but do you think he will ever get to this place? Will I be waiting weeks, months, years??? What is the best course of action (move on with my life for now and let him solve this on this own), wait for him, continue talking or not talking? Anyone have similar experiences or advice for dealing with him? And if we do get back together can I be sure he won't just walk out on me again???Please help me deal with an ex boyfriend with depression...?
I have been at the other end of this question. I was the guy pushing my girlfriend away. I too thought I was in a funk, caused by stress and it would all go away if I could get rid of some of it. Man, I hated myself for pushing her away. I was wrong. It took a long time for me to admit it was something I couldn't control or fix myself. I am now seeing a psychologist, it took me a while as well to allow myself to take a medication for something I was certain I could fix on my own. We went thru oh, like 3 different drugs that all had benefits but also side effects. The one I am on now is Celexus. It works great. I am happier, more relaxed. I also now take Welbutrin. It helps with my mood throughout the day since the Celexus is taken at night.





Here is the best part, (for me) She waited. She kept in touch and we got back together after a year or so apart. She now is my wife and we are getting ready to try to get pregnant. She understood my situation and loved me enough that she is now a part of my rehabilitation instead of a part of my problem.





I hope for him things work out. Tell him to try the pills, if he doesn't like them he can flush them down the toilet. Tell him to stick with it and give it an honest try. If you wait for him or don't, you can still be a very important part of his success in this. I wish you both the best.Please help me deal with an ex boyfriend with depression...?
People with depression do push loved ones away. It affects everything, especially the people that care about us.


He need all the true friends and all the support he can get right now. And yes, he can make a full recovery. Not overnight, but a few weeks should show major changes.


It's up to you whether or not you stick with him, but depression is an illness, not a choice. Your boyfriend is sick. No reflection on you. If he loves you, you are lucky, true love doesn't come along every day in this life. If all you can be is a friend, that'll help him loads.





Good luck.
YES ! Let the man get better with him self before he tries to have another relationship with you.





Let him have his space and let him grow with this experience





Nobody knows how long its going to be before he gets better. Its all up to HIM, and how he heels and gets better.





The best thing you can do is go on with your life, wait if you want, or maybe even go to counseling with him. Nothings better than understanding his problems !





Kinda like a Alcoholic, go to his AA meetings !
Maybe he feels guilty for something, could he think he doesn't deserve you? If your a young couple, then maybe he needs time to experience life. The commitment thing maybe settled in for him. Some people need time to heal, some may not come back. This may go deeper within him than you think. Don't blame yourself either. I will say this...you can't wait forever.