Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Need advice on how to deal with ex-fiance and ex best friend?

Forgive me if this sounds scrambled, but I am very bothered by this and need advice. I was always warned about those two, but didn't listen, wondering if they would change. Especially my best friend the fact that she was always there while my ex-fiance was away. I'm a really nice person, and I give a lot of myself to people. I always try to make sure people r doing okay, I'm respectful and I try my best not to judge anybody or treat anyone badly. I'm not perfect, I have my flaws and I know I do, but I try the best of my ability to correct my actions if they are wrong. When I finally ended my friendship with my ex best friend (finally tired of the negativity and bad vibes) she claimed I did things that I know I would never do. I knew she was making excuses. Later on she would tell me that she was never my friend at all and would talk about me behind my back. I wasn't stupid. I just spent that last year trying to figure out why the girl did not like me. How can you pretend to be someone's friend for so many years and say such mean things, calling people out their name, which is something I would never do. She was my reason why I never had any female friends to begin with (no offense, I know all females aren't like that, but she didn't make my trust in female friends any better.) As for my ex-fiance, he stole my identity, had 3 phones turned on in my name without my knowledge, and the last I know he's engaged to somebody and it was only a couple of weeks after I broke up with him. Anyway, I got harrassed from my ex best friend after a while, and blocked her from my facebook page, and all of that. It was only when my ex commented under one of my pics that apparently she could still see, and I had to go through finding all her old tags and comments, and deleting them, as well as deleting pics of my ex, and his tags, so I could see no trace of them or they could not get to me. My ex beat me to the punch on his part, and deleted me when he thought I was on his page, for which I wasn't. He just didn't know he actually commented under one of my pics. The thing is, she always hated my ex when we were together, and now all the sudden they are the best of friends? Every time I slowly start to forget about those two, something pops up on that doggone website that I missed and didn't delete, and it pains me every time. How do u get over people that u just can't seem to get rid of even when you try? they harrass u through other people, like my male best friend who told me that the girl sent him a note out the blue, saying all types of hateful things about me for no reason. Mind u they never got along either, so why after all those years would she randomly find him and just do that? I cannot get her to leave me alone, and I cannot find a way to just get over what that man done to me. Neither one of them. I never heard from him again after those phone incidents until those comments on that website, and probably never will. How do you deal with people like that? I wouldn't hurt a fly. I don't know how I managed to get stuck with those kind of people. Any advice?Need advice on how to deal with ex-fiance and ex best friend?
Well, clearly you are MUCH better off without both of them. I would be happy all this happened before you actually married the man. Keep doing what you are doing, deleting every last piece of connection between you. As for harassing you through friends, your real friends aren't going to give any credit to what she says, and if you continue to ignore her she WILL grow tired of it and leave you alone. It's only fun for them when they get a reaction. I feel bad that you got stuck with these people. Must mean you have someone really great waiting for you in the future:) I know it's hard now, but eventually you will move on emotionally and it will just be a thing from the past. Surround yourself with good friends and positive people. Remember just IGNORE them, they will find something better to do with themselves.Need advice on how to deal with ex-fiance and ex best friend?
honestly - move.





and find all new friends
wow I would delete my whole page and make a new one so they wouldnt be able to find you if they tried and you donnt have to worry about see the things you missed. and as for you hearing things they are sayin through other people tell the messangers yo dont want to hear it before they even say what they said doing that you dont have to hear the gossip and there is nothing to sit there and think about because you dont even know what they said and you should not care either way because they are so not worth you wasting your time thoughts or energy on.
Firstly, get rid of the facebook account. Make a new one and set it to private. Remember also that humans are the only animal that will intentionally hurt another's feelings for pleasure. And I guess the last thing I can say would be if a person gives you bad vibes from the start, then keep moving on. Your gut instinct is usually going to be better than what your brain tells you.

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