How to deal with ex who isn't reliable when showing up for our 2 yr old son. Getting frustrated!?

My ex left about 8 months ago and has since been seeing our son about one day a week, watching him while I work. Otherwise I never hear from him as he seems to be enjoying his newfound freedom from responsibilities which has been really frustrating me.





Initially when he decided to break things off he said he would watch our son one day a week, while I am at work and he has the day off... and will call to see him a couple times a week in addition to that for a couple hours here and there (take him to the park, for a walk, etc.) but in the 8 months he's been gone he never calls just to have him and only has him when I ';need him to';.





Wll oftentimes he's late and I've had to take my son to work with me in the am only to have my ex show up 15 minutes later, acting like it's not a big deal, and pikcing him up. And now several times he just hasn't shown up, claiming he ';forgot'; or ';misunderstood'; our arrangement. I've tlked to him about it numerous times and all he says is he's sorry, it was a mistake and to not lecture or nag him, cause he doesn't want to hear it and that's why he left me... cause he doesn't want to hear my nagging or my ';opinions'; about how things are or should be.





Then yesterday, again, I kept my son out of daycare as it was my ex's day to have him and he didn't show up, didn't call and it's the next day and I still have yet to get a call. Nothing.





How to I handle this. Talking doesn't seem to help, neither does nagging, etc. but I get so frustrated. How can he go from being so involved to breaking things off and ';forgetting'; when he's supposed to show up for our son????





Not sure what to do. I don't even tell our son he's coming anymore because some days he's reliable and some he's not.





Advice?How to deal with ex who isn't reliable when showing up for our 2 yr old son. Getting frustrated!?
It's so sad that your poor son has a loser like this as a father. My four year old son has a loser for a dad too and I got really tired of my son getting disappointed by him not showing up so I took him to court. They awarded him every other weekend and every Wednesday night to have our son, he never showed up except for one weekend. The one weekend he did show up he picked him up at 6:00 pm only to bring him back at 10:00 pm because he wouldn't go to sleep. I finally got tired of him not showing up so I went back to court and they gave him supervised visitation only, which he has never attempted. At the time when all of this started my son was two, he just turned four and he has not seen or heard from his dad since his third birthday. It's so hard when my baby boy says mommy can I call my daddy, or mommy can I go to my daddy's house. I don't even know how to contact him, so what do you say to that? I just try to reinforce that his dad loves him very much and that I know that he misses his dad ans it's ok. I guess my whole point here is it sounds to me like your ex is looking for a way out of his responsibility to his son (which is sooo pathetic). I think you should take him to family court and get a visitation schedule in writing and if he doesn't honor it they can take away all of his parental rights.





I also want to say that I think you are making a very smart choice but not telling your son that he is coming, that way your not setting him up for disappointment.How to deal with ex who isn't reliable when showing up for our 2 yr old son. Getting frustrated!?
take him to court. that oughta stratin him out!
put your son in daycare full time - bring him to court - get set visitation days and times...that way if he doesn't show up - the day care can call you and you can just go and get him...and he will have to wait for the next visitation day. The judge shouldn't tolerate the tardiness / absenteeism...etc.