How can I stay emotionally healthy when dealing with an ex-husband who is a jerk?

Help! Please I need advice. My ex is a horrid man. Stupid, childish, selfish, mean, cruel, rude, he has a repulsive personality. I have to deal with him because we have a daughter.


Please help, my life is deteriorating!


(I do not have a very supportive family either)How can I stay emotionally healthy when dealing with an ex-husband who is a jerk?
Sorry about your bad radar in choosing such a man to be the sire of your child..............





In your place, I'd not deal with him at all. If he's this bad, I'd be getting in my car, taking the things I needed, have my stash out, and leave the state, go to a woman's shelter in a different state, and start over.





Tho this is illegal, he has to find you first, and then pony up the money to come after you legally.... likely he won't bother.How can I stay emotionally healthy when dealing with an ex-husband who is a jerk?
If you have to deal with him, only deal with him about your daughter. Anything else, I really wouldn't talk to him.





And when dealing with him about my daughter, I would keep it short and to the point. That's it. I would not give him the satisfaction of knowing he has gotten under my skin. Just cut him off and move on to something else.





Good luck
Wow..


FLASHBACK..





1. To stay healthy, you must attend a parenting seminar. Not sure if they have them where you live, but in Canada, Alberta courts have a parenting after separation seminar which is in place for BOTH Parents to attend before they are even allowed to make an application in court. The seminar talks about separating past relationship issues and focusing on the issues with the children instead. Which is important and more effective... so , see if you can check into that at the court house. It's free here, so you'll likely find something.


2. Also, if you don't already, take up yoga or Pilates. Exersise really does free the mind, channel thoughts and helps you think clearly.





3. Take the time to jot down your thoughts in a journal,( keep that journal safe from any prying eyes) and put it aside. Use it as your venting journal, aside from your normal journal, if you have one.


Once you have vented, you'll feel better about going about the rest of your day.


The key to all this is learning to separate the problems from the emotions. Being mad is a waste of time, because it's what they want.. When you're mad, you can say or do things without thinking, and that always gets us loving moms on the crazy cycle and even into trouble.


If you take the time to vent first, then focus on the issue after, you'll stay focused while they push your buttons. And believe me.. he'll push those buttons as much as he can.


My ex, I am not kidding, I get a childish email a day still and it' s been 5 years.


I simply say.. '; ok, he's pushing my buttons, what does he want? ok.. yeah. I see it, he wants me to shove something up my butt... well,I can't do that, so, take care, have a nice day :)';


Having the ability to laugh things off, and focus only on what's important, will really help you and your daughter. :)





Hope that helps!
Although u have to deal with him when concerning your child.. YOU DO NOT have to deal with him any more then need be.. your conversateions should be short and to the point.. drop off/pick ups should be quick and with out confrontation..





If your allowing him to cause you so much pain and grief its usually because of just that ';YOUR ALLOWING IT'; you can control 90% of your dealings with him.. he calls and starts yelling , disrespecting etc at you, u simply say, when u can discuss things like a civilized adult call me back.. after several times of being hung up he'll get the message.. he's giving u problems when he comes to pick up the child etc.. worse comes to worse u call a police officer to stand by to make sure the exchange is civilized.. if ur talking to much to him, if ur allowing him to pull u into his stupid crap then it becomes your own fault and not his.. so stop all unneccesary contact with him..
Get some therapy and learn how to deal with a negative influence like this. You really don't have much a choice since he's going to likely be in your life until your daughter is 18. Quit letting him rent out space in your brain. Don't give him that much power. Good luck.
b clear in ur demands, work it out smartly,u say he is stupid ,so treat him like one and get ur things done for u and ur child.but do try to find the really nice in him and pamper it out.treat him like another ...................child
how old is your daughter and how much time do he be around you?